2014-05-04 20:28:18老鼠人

與憤怒共舞


關於圖片:上海書城戰利品。大陸書好便宜,一本不到30RMB。終於確認了自己的正確主義性格很強。

老天保佑,曾老爹病況並不嚴重,但高齡的身子因此大虛,後遺症目前狀況不明,持續靜養中,謝謝大家關心,等療程進行告一段落,再來整理治療帶狀疱疹的經驗和注意事項。今天,要來優先處理自己內心的不平靜。

幾年前,因為憂心老媽手術結果加上感情不順,身心俱疲的我也曾經得過帶狀疱疹,回頭看那時的貼文,真是心疼啊。如今推算,他們那時都已在地球所內公開一年半了,之前的地下情都不知走了多久,我還在傻傻垂直水平拼命分析,檢討作賤自己……馬的!你的良心就這麼一丁點兒大?愛情不能泛道德論是吧?那就讓老天給你機會去親自驗證,但願那日來臨時,你們相互給予的盡是祝福,就用親身經歷來佐證我的心胸狹窄與智慧欠缺吧!對感情忠誠不過是個人的固執?那就等你們來共同揭顯無需堅持初衷的真愛吧!午午自刑又遇甲午年湊熱鬧,就來看丑牛先生如何躲開桃花煞吧,我呸你個專情好男人!

是的,我依然憤怒。

那些「後來……」的美好尚未成為現實,我還在怒海泅泳,奮力不讓自己溺斃。

正確主義性格要面對處理的重大課題便是憤怒。某天,傷痕累累的朋友問我如何處理憤怒,我一時語塞,其實我也不知道該怎麼辦,只是按個人目前累積的經驗,首先就是不要壓抑憤怒,更不要責怪自己有憤怒的情緒,喜怒哀樂人情之常,憤怒就罵出來吧。為了不殃及無辜,我依然喜歡對著鏡子自言自語,吼~~我真的都超級義正辭嚴,而且激動起來真的會自動轉用英文,八成是內心深處不喜歡自己這麼失控吧,換個語言就像換個身份自欺,唉,可憐的正確主義性格啊,連崩潰的時候都還不放過自己。

真的,一旦你接受了憤怒,它便失去無限囂張的力量,快來也快去,然後,更重要的是,在生活裡找到許多快樂來包容、消化那些說來就來的憤怒,每個人的快樂來源不一樣,與親友歡聚應該是大多數人都感到開心的事吧,多排點時間給家人朋友吧。

貼文也是我快樂的來源,壞情緒寫出來之後,隔著距離旁觀便減輕了那些情緒的強度,甚至在稍後回顧的時候有新觸發,貼了一堆流水文,便可以具體看見生活裡的吃喝玩樂,在好事鳥事加加減減之後,感到萬幸。

一定要想辦法讓自己具體看見生命裡的美好,看看身邊心愛的孩子吧,這是為人父母最大的幸運了,轉身一望就得見希望無限!好在我有大誠牛,牛兒們的歪七扭八也常讓我笑得七暈八素,感謝我遇到的不是一群只會點頭的鴨子。嘿嘿,就連我看見喜歡的工作狂又發表paper了,也是可以快樂個幾天,雖然那根本不干我事,但知道好人還在努力貢獻所學就覺得世界美好!反正,憤怒於我,無法消滅,但確實能被溶解,於是我更努力去找到生活裡的快樂。

親愛的,你不孤單,我知道那種無能為力,爛人無所不在,倒楣的時候總會遇上幾個,尤其是當你因爛人的所作所為受到傷害,還要聽見那種「可憐之人必有可惡之處」的屁話,實在是太委屈啦!職場、情場皆然。怎辦?不能老是困在憤憤不平又無能為力的絕境,老娘的作法就是氣照生、命照活、路照走,怎樣?不行喔?我就是要想辦法繼續前進啦!誰說要完全不憤怒才能活的呀?憤怒也可以被導引成正向力量,許多成功人士都是為了出當年的一口鳥氣而最後出人頭地的,等我們容光煥發了,也要來感謝一下曾經磨折我們的爛人。要身強體健好好活著,不是不報,時候未到,保持你的正直與善良,咱們來從容優雅地見證一切!

當然,怎麼能忘記我最愛的搖滾樂呢,老娘我就是要搖滾到老死啦!爽!
Sooner or later, we'll look back with pride and appreciation!

Don't Look Back In Anger—Oasis
Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play

You said that you've never been
But all the things that you've seen
They slowly fade away

So I'll start a revolution from my bed
''cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it's night or day
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a rock and roll band
Who'll throw it all away

I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed
''cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say
At least not today.

(悄悄話) 2014-05-23 16:29:02