2012-04-30 16:00:55老鼠人

宅女做功課之「墜入愛河」與「眼動」

對不起,之前對好朋友發火了,謝謝你們還是對我展現包容,請相信我真的有在努力啦,不是只會胡思亂想、自己嚇自己而已,在搞清楚別人之前,更重要的是搞清楚自己,最近認真地讀了許多有關love, infatuation, relationships, hands-holding, eye movements的文章,專業的學術論述或非專業的經驗漫談、宗教觀點,總之是亂看一通,雖然眾說紛紜、莫衷一是,但腦子不那麼一片醬糊了,有得比對的時候,總能得到一點安全感,沒什麼比滿天問號更恐怖了。

之前跟Y說我是個經常掛在網上的無聊宅女,沒事就上網到處東看西看,他問我都到哪去看什麼,然後我就卡住了,該如何回答這個問題呢?就真的沒一定啊,剛好說到命理,就回以主題來說的話,這就算是一個常看的主題,後來他又問總是有個地方開始吧?很勉強地擠出了PChome這個答案,雖然我幾乎每天來新聞台報到,但其實我看的東西更多是在其它雜七雜八的地方,可是一時之間我又想不起來那些雜七雜八的地方是在哪兒,他聽到PChome後就露出了一種詭異的表情,然後嘴裡覆誦唸著PChome啊……我不想多加揣測他的意思,但我回家鍵入PChome首頁後就覺得很蠢,其實我根本鮮少從那首頁登入,那些每日一圖、正妹寫真……媽啊,這是給什麼人日日欣賞的啊?

就這麼剛好,新聞台的「好台新文」要下線改為「達人知識」了,我個人是蠻樂見其成的,感覺好像會讓那些有料的報台能見度提高一點,之前的所謂「好台」實在是蠻參差不齊的,連我的流水帳報台也入選過,我自己都不懂是為什麼,不過,「達人」或「知識」的定義恐怕也是難有共識啊,哈,這便是人的世界有趣的地方了。

如果有機會再哈啦,我可能會跟Y說,雖然Erin之前常跟他說我「很討厭理論」,但其實我經常也喜歡聽、看各種理論,只是不一定會被說服,通常在實證前我都傾向懷疑,而所謂「理論」其實也沒有固定形式,從專家學者的研究成果到公車上偶爾飄進耳朵裡的瞎扯淡都可能,畢竟,我是個水瓶座的好奇寶寶,哈,又扯到星座了…..

關於判斷自己是不是墜入愛河的文章很多,貼這篇是因為作者是個才貌兼具的大美女,不過,主持性學網站的她現在看起來好像沒那麼性感了喔,但這篇內容一樣值得參考。需要注意的是,這篇只能拿來判斷自己,不能拿來判斷兩人相愛與否。


How Do You Know When You're in Love? -- Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright
Published February 11, 2008    FoxNews.com

So this is what all the hype's about! I was glowing. I was infatuated. I was walking on air. I was more alive than ever. At 28, I was helplessly, hopelessly falling in love for the very first time. Sure, I had had my fair share of teen and twenty-something crushes up to that point, but those were nothing like this!

With the man of my dreams equally smitten, I was suddenly finding myself in the throes of one of the most exhilarating, significant and emotionally intense experiences of my life. If you're lucky, you can relate.

Often likened to having a mental illness or drug dependency, romantic love is in many cases unplanned, inconvenient, involuntary and seemingly absurd.

In trying to make sense of the seemingly uncontrollable, the Romans believed that Cupid, the naughty angel, randomly shot his arrow at unsuspecting victims. The little bugger had gotten me all right, unexpectedly impacting my focus in the midst of my pursuit of a doctorate.

Deliciously delirious with love's intoxicating effects, I realized that this temporary state of insanity was actually invaluable in my sexuality studies. I could finally fully respond to a question often asked by my students and Web site visitors: How do you know when you’re truly falling in love?

It's a question that is probably on the minds of many people with Valentine's Day just days away.

As brilliantly described in Dr. Helen Fisher’s "Why We Love," here's how you know when you're love-struck:

You're suddenly shy, at least initially. Even the most confident can feel timid, anxious, awkward, and even fearful around a crush. You may turn pale, flush, tremble, stammer, sweat, feel dizzy, breathe faster, get weak in the knees and have "butterflies in your stomach." While such symptoms are flu-like, you’ve been struck with no more than a love bug.

You're suddenly manic. You may have lost your appetite or find yourself sleepless, yet feeling totally energized, even hyperactive. Know that you have your brain to blame. Elevated concentrations of dopamine, and its chemical derivative norepinephrine, are basically hijacking your brain, lowering your serotonin levels. These neuron-transmitters, known as monoamines, are what make us feel loopy with love.

You're obsessed. Your "love object" has taken on what psychologists call a "special meaning." This sweetie has become unique, novel, and all-important — the center of your universe. You are infatuated, focusing your energy and passion on every little thing associated with your honey.

Elevated levels of dopamine in your brain make for more focused attention and motivation in directing and attaining your amour goals. You are consumed with "intrusive thinking," fantasizing and daydreaming constantly about your beloved. One survey found that the love-obsessed reported thinking of their beloved for more than 85 percent of their waking hours. Not surprisingly, couples can describe how they fell in love with each other years later.

You've changed. You may find that you're revamping yourself. Between your clothing style, mannerisms, habits, and even values, you're willing to do almost anything and everything to win your loved one's affections.

You're on the ride of your life. Until the relationship offers security, you may feel like you're on a roller coaster. When things are good, you're on "cloud 9." But if a loved one is unresponsive right away, indicates something negative, seems indifferent ... basically, does anything to rattle you, you may feel despair, depressed, rage, mopey and listless until the situation is resolved. In Fisher's survey, 79 percent of men and 83 percent of women reported dissecting an adored one's actions.

You're sporting rose-colored glasses these days. Passion makes for perfect. While the love-struck can name faults their love object has, unlike the rest of us, they see these defects as charming and endearing. Love is blind. And you are willing to go to great lengths to make sure that the illusion you've created remains unscathed.

You have no desire for anyone else. You want sexual and emotional union with your one and only. Yet while lust — the craving for sexual gratification — is a major player in your passion pursuits — the desire for sex and monogamy are less important than the desire for an emotional union. Men and women ache to have their love returned more than anything.

Believe it or not, it seems that Mother Nature wanted to bestow all of the aforementioned on us during the attraction stage of coupledom. Lust is said to have evolved to motivate humans to seek sexual relations with almost any semi-appropriate partner. Romantic love, however, helps us to focus our mating attention on a specific person, helping us to conserve our energy and time with one courtship. Feelings of attachment, and its components of peace, calm and security, then take over for the long haul. With many arguing that this passionate state of affairs lasts no more than two years, be sure to enjoy this love drug while it lasts!

在台大聊天那天,我很反常地視線一直往左上飄去,因為太過頻繁連自己都注意到了,但還是一直無法控制自己視線不斷往左上飄去,講話的時候,通常我雙眼都習慣看著對方的眼睛,這反常的舉動除了讓自己不安,也蠻擔心他會不會覺得我都不專心之類的,回家孤狗後終於放下心中大石,原來我一直在努力用老娘超爛的記憶力回想過去啊,誰叫他一直問我大學生活有的沒有的,偏偏我就想不起來啊!


圖文皆摘錄自
Eye movement meaning: Why do people make certain eye movements?

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Looking up and left: Visual Recall: These eye movements indicate the person is remembering something they've seen and are picturing it in their mind.

Looking up and right: Visual constructed image: According to NLP eye movement theory this indicates that the person is imagining something they've never seen before and is creating a picture of it in their mind.

NB Staring ahead with eyes appearing unfocused and unmoving can also be a sign that your brain is accessing the visual parts of the brain. In other words, you are literally day dreaming and imagining some kind of picture or movie in your mind, even if you’re not consciously aware of the images you are seeing.

Looking to the left: Auditory recall: Eye locations going to the left indicate the person is remembering a sound they've heard and are hearing it in their mind.

Looking to the right: Auditory constructed sound: The meaning of eye movements to the right is that the person is imagining something they’ve never heard before, creating and hearing that sound in their mind.

Looking down and left: Internal dialogue: If you track a person's eyes to the lower left side, it is likely they are talking to themselves because this is where your eyes look when have an internal dialogue.

Looking down and right: Kinesthetic:  Eye movements to the lower right indicate the person is imagining what something feels like when they touch it, smell it or taste it, or what a feeling is like in their body. When the eye direction turns here it could also indicate the person is in touch with a certain emotion and what it feels like in their body.