悼戀 2009/11/30

歇斯底里、胡亂咒罵、狂打電話、留言、MSN上自言自語……
最後，在凌晨快兩點找到了早已沉沉睡去的他

「我們真的不可能繼續下去。」他說
「好，謝謝你告訴我。」我說
然後，我的愛情故事終於畫上了句點

固執不肯放手、反反覆覆的我
在凌晨聽見了一句肯定而不是沉默或疑問
碎在地上的心忽然急凍成一顆完整
我不知道自己是不是還活著，但我確實還在呼吸

曾經，一個純情男孩將他的真心交付予我
但我沒能好好守護它
而今，我將永遠永遠地失去它了

聽100遍Alanis Morissette - Simple Together
然後把一切放進記憶的抽屜

You've been my golden best friend
Now with post-demise at hand
Can't go to you for consolation
Cause we're off limits during this transition

This grief overwhelms me
It burns in my stomach
And I can't stop bumping into things

I thought we'd be simple together
I thought we'd be happy together
Thought we'd be limitless together
I thought we'd be precious together
But I was sadly mistaken

You've been my soulmate and mentor
I remembered you the moment I met you
With you I knew god's face was handsome
With you I suffered an expansion

This loss is numbing me
It pierces my chest
And I can't stop dropping everything

I thought we'd be sexy together
Thought we'd be evolving together
I thought we'd have children together
I thought we'd be family together
But I was sadly mistaken

If I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared
If I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented
If I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
My wealth would render this no less severe

I thought we'd be genius together
I thought we'd be healing together
I thought we'd be growing together
Thought we'd be adventurous together
But I was sadly mistaken

Thought we'd be exploring together
Thought we'd be inspired together
I thought we'd be flying together
Thought we'd be on fire together
But I was sadly mistaken

你一直都是
我最珍貴的黃金拍檔
現在隨著惡耗
在手中幻滅
再不能跟你要點安慰
我們已不再交集

悲涼淹沒了我
它灼傷著胃
無法停止回憶跳針重現

以為我們能伴著彼此
以為我們能一起歡笑
以為我們會永遠相聚
以為我們可以互相珍視
遺憾的是，我錯了

你曾是我的靈魂伴侶
與精神支柱
我還記得
初相遇時的你
因為有你
我知道自己受上帝眷顧
因為有你
我的世界更加寬闊

這失去讓我麻木
它深刺胸膛
而我不能克制拋捨一切

以為我們會一起放縱
以為我們能彼此相契
以為我們將擁有小孩
以為我們可以共組家庭
悲哀的是，我錯了

我想和你分享一切哲理
假如它是我的所有
我想跟你表達
任何幸福的可能性
即使它只是
夠用的一小筆錢
我願放棄所有
假若它已是我僅剩
我願小心翼翼地
交付你我的一切

以為我們能彼此激發靈感
以為我們得以相互撫慰
以為我們會一起成長
以為我們可以
朝未知冒險前行
難過的是，我錯了

以為我們能探索未來
以為我們會啟發彼此
以為我們將一起翱翔
以為我們可以相擁焚燒
難過的是，我錯了