2008-11-19 12:03:28Mr.光

與馬桶的邂逅

某次週休,我姊打電話給我說要來我家睡一天,
                                                                                
我問了原因,才知道原來是她跟姊夫為了某些事情吵架,
                                                                                
她為了表示抗議,選擇離家出走一天,但是住外面的旅館

很貴,所以她才想到來我這邊與我同擠一間小套房,
                                                                                
大家有租套房的經驗就知道,小套房,顧名思義就是很小(廢話)
                                                                                
而且廁所跟室內空間又離的很近,隔音設備也不是很好,
                                                                                
 

----------------------故事就這麼發生了-----------------------------


我愛吃辣的姊姊,在來我家之前,先去觀光夜市吃了麻辣
                                                                                
臭豆腐(超辣),超辣就是比大辣再高個一級,
                                                                                
「弟,我肚子不舒服廁所借我。」
                                                                                
 姊姊一進門就這麼對我說,連個禮貌性的招呼也省略了,
                                                                                
她衝進廁所之後,我則一派悠閒的躺在床上看著老西洋片。
                                                                                
                                                                                
-----------------------一分鐘過後----------------------------

                                                                                
「噗~~~~~~~~」
                                                                               
 我微微皺一下眉頭,是的,從廁所傳出來很細很細的屁聲,
                                                                                
那個聲音大概持續三秒,而且尾音還作了上揚的處理,
                                                                                
我沒多餘的反應,安靜的看著電視機正在播放的西洋老片。
                                                                                
「噗...噗噗...噗噗..噗...」從廁所又傳來一陣屁聲。

第二次的屁聲稍微情緒化了點,衝動中又帶了那麼一點含蓄,

大概響了四至六聲,斷斷續續的,感覺還含有百分之四十的溼度,
                                                                                
 此時我終於按耐不住好奇....
                                                                                
 「姊,妳拉肚子喔?」
                                                                                
「對啦,你先出去咩,十分鐘後再回來,你在外面我哪好意思拉阿?」

(靠北喔!沒記錯的話這裡好像是我家耶!)這是我心中的OS
                                                                                
 「好啦!那我先出去買飲料。」
                                                                                
想一想如果一直聽她的屁聲,連自己都會覺得怪噁心的,
                                                                                
而且我開始同情那沒有生命的馬桶了,所以出去買個飲料再回來吧!
                                                                                
出門之後,我突然想到某件事情,於是折返回家,

一進家門我就聽到慘絕人寰的屁聲,而且持續大概十秒,
                                                                                                                                                               
第三次的屁聲我聽出它的憤怒,威嚴而不做作的直接衝了出來,

好似夏天午後的一記悶雷,響徹雲霄。
                                                                                

接著第四聲....


第五聲....
                                                                                
                                                                               
第六聲....
                                                                                
                                                                                
屁聲終於停了,於是我很白木的開口問:
                                                                                

「姊,剛忘了問妳,妳要喝什麼?」


語畢後夏天直接越過一個季節變成寒冷的冬天,

我感覺周圍空氣瞬間凝結,就這樣時間停止了好幾秒,
                                                                               
幾秒過後,我姊終於打破沉默。
                                                                                
                                                                               
「幹!你還沒出門喔?」