2022.04

他覺得和沒有修行的人講話會被吸走能量。

他曾說修行完全是為自己。

他曾說希望能修成不會生病的身體。

**

2023.01

**

2022.04.19

今年1月左右聽說菲律賓要開放國門，可能要飛去。突然疫情增溫，菲律賓決定不開了。大約2月，菲律賓開放免簽證國家觀光，我們和司馬添神父碰面。聽說3月要開放，妳再次來到玫瑰堂。3月10左右菲律賓開放給有向菲律賓政府申請『許可』的人士觀光，我準備文件，一直沒下落。4月5日，越南和印尼的同學，已經去菲律賓一陣子了。越南的同學說就等我一個人。我也不知何時會拿到許可。4月7日聽說不用許可就可申請簽證，我4月8日週五去馬尼拉台北辦事處申請。隔週一辦事處停止收件一個月(我很幸運12日週二可領簽證)，因為菲律賓員工要選舉總統。

妳17日領洗，我18日接獲通知要出發了。

終於知道，同學都在等我，因為天主一直在等妳。

感謝天主，謝謝聖母。

**

2022.04

1) How do we understand the "best possible world"?

Metaphysical:

Suppose God is all-powerful and all-knowing, and as what Anselm has described in his argument, the “highest” and the “most perfect”. If the world we live in is not the best possible world, then it can be attributed to one of the following reasons: 1) God is not able to create the best world. 2) God is not able to choose the best world from all the possible worlds. Either of these possible reasons contradicts God’s characteristics. Therefore, the world we live in is the best possible world.

Moreover, consider the fertilization of an egg and a number of sperms. Only one of these sperms can get into the egg and make a new life. The very sperm is better than all the other ones because it has “a necessary part” (1) to make its “potentiality” into “actuality”: e.g., swimming fast. Therefore, God does not only make the best possible world, but also make the possible world into a reality by his own way: the law of fitness or of the best. (1)

In “monad”, matter and form (by Aristotle) “constitute one unity”. (3) Each possible world is “a conceivable combinations of monads”. (1) The best possible world is the one “which shows the greatest possible sum of perfection”. (1)

Pragmatical:

If we keep in mind the famous quote by Protagoras: “Man is the measure of all things”, the meaning of the best world is not only the best quality or beauty of material entities, but also the helper to the development of human beings. That is, the best world is the one that can nourish and cultivate human beings such that humans can fulfill their own essence. For instance, “Dasein” by Heidegger or the “will to power” by Nietzsche.

Empirical (Observational):

“The best possible world is not always good for every person all the time”. (4) For example, Apology of Socrates, by an arguable death, has influenced thinkers in all generations. How a good has contributed to the totality of perfection, may only be discovered by later generations, e.g., Renaissance.

Mystical:

We may misjudge the world even though we claim that we “know” and “recognize” the creator. Consider the egg and sperm example. Anyone of us can say “I once was a sperm” and “I once was an egg”. Both statements are true since we all came from an egg and a sperm. That “simultaneously, I was ‘B’ and not ‘B’” once happened. An egg or a sperm is alive and subject to its’ own time and space. When they meet together, the “unity of different beings, time and space” happens. “I can only say that space and time processes take place outside me that bring about space and time processes within me.” (2) Alternatively, “space and time are nothing real, but the order of coexistences and the order of successions”. (5) From the perspective of a sperm, “I am supposed to be aggressive”, while “I am supposed to be defensive” from the perspective of an egg. A mother’s womb is the very cosmos where human’s reason is bred by “Divine Law” (by Thomas Aquinas). “The fullness of forms which slumber in the womb of matter is inexhaustible” (3). Therefore, dealing with contradictions outside a mother’s womb by reason may require the understanding of higher knowledge. We fix our gaze on the “Over-God” by Nicholas of Cusa so that we can approximately reach the “unity of contradictions” in the best possible world.

(1) Richard Falckenberg, History of Modern Philosophy, Page 278

(2) PHILOS 0210 - video of interpretations of Nicholas of Cusa's ideas

(3) Richard Falckenberg, History of Modern Philosophy, Page 55

(4) PHILOS 0210 - Audio_Liebniz_Theodicy 22

(5) Richard Falckenberg, History of Modern Philosophy, Page 282

2) How do we explain evil in relation to the human will?

Existence of human will:

Some thinkers argued that human will does not exist because actions are determined only by causes such as beliefs and desire. This statement can be criticized because it is the human will that determines whether to take an action in response to beliefs or desire. If we do not have free will then we will function in the way the following entities perform their duties: angels without physical bodies or robots with physical bodies. Angels always follow God’s will, but some humans doubt and even reject the existence of God. Robots always know the next instruction of action, but humans need time to think. Humans function like neither angels nor robots, therefore human will no doubt exists.

Metaphysical:

If we describe the growth of human with “Four Causes” by Aristotle, the material cause may be the original self. The formation cause may be the grown-up self. The efficient cause may be the human will. And the final cause may be the “greatest good”. Nevertheless, if the human will is not used properly, the final cause may become selfish satisfaction for example. This is where evil comes in. If humans follow the “natural law” and the “common good” by Thomas Aquinas, benefits can happen without the arise of evil. However, evil does exist, because of the wrong use of human will. The wrong use of human will occurs due to “imperfection”: e.g., inclination causing emotion overpowering ration.

We were born with imperfection: “the evil of finitude” (1), e.g., physically challenged or mentally challenged. “Other evils God has permitted because it was only through them that certain higher goods, which ought not to be renounced, could be brought to pass.” (1) “Most evils serve to secure us a much greater good, or to ward off a still greater evil.” (1) “Thomas Aquinas claimed: God permits evils in order that a good may come.” (2)

Pragmatical:

In response to imperfection, we can develop and exercise healthy habits and self-control, making good use of our free will. Meanwhile, we identify our essence and engage in our lives positively, contributing to “the harmony of the universe”.

Empirical (Observational):

How greater goods have been brought about by evils can be reflected on such historical facts as: abandoned dying people in the streets then taken care of by Mother Theresa and the spread of ideas and cultures brought about by the warfare by Alexander the Great.

Mystical:

Consider flatworm and starfish. If their bodies are cut into several fragments, some or all of fragments will regenerate and continue to grow. Original line of time and space is separated into multiple lines of time and space. Organisms are “complexes of monads” (3), and these created living beings are lower “organisms”. They cannot think as we do. The capability of “reason” differentiates human beings from all the other beings. Although the existence of imperfection and evils challenges the exercise of human will, we as human beings are to live out dignity, making best use of our reason as "I think, therefore I am" by Descartes. Evils permitted by God can therefore bring about the good in us. What Socrates said in Phaedo “the philosopher loves true wisdom and not the passions and appetites of the body” (4) can also be regarded as the evidence of the existence of evils or imperfection. However, we are more than these evils and imperfection. Socrates had believed he would be closer to true knowledge and wisdom in death. Alternatively, we can develop or meditate the “beatific vision” by Thomas Aquinas so that we grab the eternal knowledge of the world, and the world is the best possible world.

(1) Richard Falckenberg, History of Modern Philosophy, Page 290

(2) PHILOS 0210 - Audio_Liebniz_Theodicy 22

(3) Richard Falckenberg, History of Modern Philosophy, Page 281

(4) Phaedo https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phaedo

**

2022.05.09

I was wondering last night what that mystical house is about. I woke up happily this morning, because suddenly I was aware that the house has connection with charity. I guessed that professor Tony shares his room to people in need. He is even planning to build up the second floor such that he can share to more people.

I have been feeling touched by this awareness all day long.

I think some of my guessing has been justified. I am happy.

**

2022.05.11

Hello bro, Good Morning!

Thank you for your concerns.

When you first came to Philippines, I had to wait in Taiwan. In March, I was told to apply for 'permit' in order to apply for visa. I tried and then had to wait. When you said through Messenger 'We are waiting for you.'  I was very touched, but I still had to wait.

Finally I knew God's plan is better than mine. My elder sister decided to be baptized on Easter Sunday. I could attend her baptism. The next day, I was told to come to Philippines. The next Monday (25) I finally arrived here. God is good, right? He guides each of us in the best way. I couldn't have attended my sister's baptism if I had come earlier. I entrust myself into God's hand without any condition, because I have nothing to worry about any more. God will take care of my elder sister.

Yesterday dinner time, Hector told me that I am going to Baguio today. Provincial supiror was also there when Hector told me the above decision. Hector would manage the transportation for me.

Later on when dinner was over, Hector told me that I am going to stay at Baguio for one week because I have to come back for the processing of the papers (my visa).

In short, I am just following what I was told because I believe in God's plan.

By the way, father Mike sent greetings to you! Have a nice day.

**

2022.05.16

As we can discover in the first reading when Paul and Barnabas were not welcome and were attached by people in Iconium, including the Jew and the Gentile, they tried to proclaim the Good News regardless of the threatening. However, when it is or it seems to be impossible to inspire people to convert, a missionary pays attention to the other people and entrusts those who do not convert into God’s hand.

When I was in Taiwan, several years ago when the government was about to change the definition of marriage, many social and religious organizations openly defended the marriage as the relation between a man and a woman.

It was also at that activity and at that moment that I knew that was the last chance I could give testimony to the true value of family because I had been aware of the pressure of the so-called ‘human right’ for many years. Finally, the movement attacked the law in our society.

One of my relatives, having noticed that I had participated in that activity, began to criticize me by Messenger. He also attacked my faith. However, I defended the definition of marriage not just because of my faith but also because of a simple reason. I know a child, no matter what his character, personality, or nature, he always needs the caring coming from a father and a mother. If somebody needs a boyfriend or a girlfriend, another person can find one for him. However, if someone loses either his father or his mother, he can never find a father or a mother throughout his life.

My relative who had criticized and attacked me by Messager was still my friend in facebook, but we had colder connection than before. His family member even unfriended me in facebook.

I can understand that how difficult it is to proclaim the challenging Good News in the change world. My hometown Taiwan is never the same as she is 20 years ago. Even so, we keep faith and hope and believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. The more a person keeps his heart open, the more he will be revealed to the truth, the gospel. As long as we have done our part in proclaiming the Good News, we can just leave them alone. A person has his free will.

Why did Jesus reveal himself only to a number of people, not to the world? Why only a number of people can hear the Good News? It is a mystery. We keep focused on God himself and do not let our Church become a social party or a market. We are just a tool, an instrument, or a channel, through which Jesus' light will be exposed to the world, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

**

**

2022.06.15

I was sipping the beer as if the flowing liquid were my life and wondering how such impossible things can really happen to me. An accidenal stay on the surface in fact has imbedded program in the depths, so does my life with God's plan imbedded. Thank you professor and bro.

**

**

2022.08

Assignment: Reflection on 'My Body Program'

When I first did Enneagram, I encountered myself - my inner being and discovered my first and second personalities: Loyalist and Investigator. Then, when I began to think about my body, I started the observation from the inside to the outside, and back to the inside. I looked back into my life and strove to find out the relationship between the body and the inner being. Since part of my personality made me an explorer, I began to make a conversation with my body. This was new to me and somewhat difficult for me because talking with my body parts was like talking with my unconsciousness - iceberg below the surface of the water.

My body parts were like servants who worked for my soul day and night and I did not even know how and when they worked.

It seemed that I had taken them for granted for a long time. I would like to say to each of them 'Thank you, for you have been with me so faithfully. When I was happy, you were with me. When I was sad, you were also with me. I know that you sometimes gave me some signal and were giving me the reality of my whole being. However, I was too busy to carefully find out what the signal meant. I think that is why I sometimes got sick or uncomfortable.'

Pondering upon the story of my body helped me understand that some conditions were the effects of what had happened to my body.

Aside from the conversation with my body, I can also make a conversation with the nature through the excercis done physically and spiritually. When moving my body parts, I let the energy go into and come out of my whole being. Furthermore, the circulation of energy builds a connection to the nature when I do Tai Chi and Qi Gong, accompanied by the self-acknowledgement such as 'I am beautiful', 'I am wonderful' or similar ideals that can sink into my unconsciousness. Consider the primary elements in the nature such as air, gold, wood, water, fire and earth. Following the movement of energy inward and outward, I am connected to the nature. In addition, physical exercise leads to health and good mental condition or state.

The journey of understanding myself went on when I painted both sides of my body. I evoked my unconsciousness and encouraged me to give thanks to God because of His Providence. I experienced my life colorfully and wonderfully. I also looked forward to the aboundance and meaningfulness in the future.

**

Hello xxm,

Do you remember that I told you when I first read a small pamphlet about a Catholic woman, who was from time to time visited by the Holy Souls from Purgatory?

I was impressed by private revelation because in Protestant Church I had never heard about this. However, truth is like a double-edged sword. As I have told you that I could not accept that this woman said homosexuality came from hell (or devil?) and I was very disappointed.

But later on when I checked more private revelations, I could not but change my option. In short, I even accepted the description by one version of catechism that this inclination is "disordered".

It is a big challenge or struggler anyway. Two years ago, I received a transformation. How I am attracted to men and women is very different than how I was before.

I used to be an elder at that Protestant Church. Now, I would rather be blamed for using too harsh words than let anyone be misled by me again.

Best regards,

John

FYI

1)A priest who saw heaven, hell, and purgatory

The death experience of Father Jose Maniyangat

2) MY JUDGMENT BEFORE GOD

Dr. Gloria Polo's testimony

================================

1)

...

Hell

First, the angel escorted me to hell. It was an awful sight! I saw Satan and the devils, an unquenchable fire of about 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit, worms crawling, people screaming and fighting, others being tortured by demons. The angel told me that all these sufferings were due to unrepented mortal sins. Then, I understood that there are seven degrees of suffering or levels according to the number and kinds of mortal sins committed in their earthly lives. The souls looked very ugly, cruel and horrific. It was a fearful experience. I saw people whom I knew, but I am not allowed to reveal their identities. The sins that convicted them were mainly abortion, homosexuality, euthanasia, hatefulness, unforgiveness and sacrilege. The angel told me that if they had repented, they would have avoided hell and gone instead to purgatory. I also understood that some people who repent from these sins might be purified on earth through their sufferings. This way they can avoid purgatory and go straight to heaven.

I was surprised when I saw in hell even priests and Bishops, some of whom I never expected to see. Many of them were there because they had misled the people with false teaching and bad example.

Purgatory

...

Heaven

...

A priest who saw heaven, hell, and purgatory

The death experience of Father Jose Maniyangat

https://www.michaeljournal.org/juvdm/enseignements/f.jose/page.01-eng.html

2)

...

Every time, there is an abortion, the blood shed by that baby is like a key that Satan turns and the Lord showed me something that looked like seals on the ground and every time there is an abortion, those seals open up and millions of spirits get released on to earth from the pit of hell, spirits such us: the spirit of homosexuality, the spirit of lust, the spirit of satanic worship, the spirit of atheism, spirits of suicide, of abortion, spirits of everything that we are seeing nowadays. Haven't you noticed how human beings are becoming less and less Christian?

...

MY JUDGMENT BEFORE GOD

Dr. Gloria Polo's testimony

http://www.javaemerald.com/religion/gloria_polo_testimony.html

**

**

2022.11.17

I was sitting at the bus station, waiting for the 8:30pm bus. Around 6:00pm, noticing that I had finished prayer, a girl sitting nearby talked to me "Can you pray for me?" She was facing up to a big problem (in her family). I invited her to pray together right away. She began to weep when we were praying.

After the prayer and a short conversation, she left and took her bus. I continued to wait for my bus, being amazed by this unexpected and accidental mission.

**

2022-12-10

Hello professor and bro,

My elder sister married to a Taoism-Buddhism family. I never persuaded her to join Catholic Church. However she got baptised one week before I came to the Philippines. Lately, she was elected as a vice president of  parish council at her parish. How immeasurable Grace that comes after CICM vocation it is!

**

2023-01

(1)

In the Goldilocks Moment

Have you ever been late for school or work? How would you feel if you knew nothing until you found out that you were late for something? The question "Am I too late?" sometimes came to "knock" my heart. After joining the Catholic Church back in 2012, I began to be attracted to the religious life. Inspired by the lifestyle of some Catholic saints, I was eager to lead this way of life. Meanwhile, lacking in the courage to make a major change in life, I kept working as a software developer. It was not until the year of 2020 that I did make up my mind to discern seriously my religious vocation. I was sometimes frustrated by the self-questioning: "Am I too late?", but I finally at the age of 49 became a postulant of CICM and came to the Philippines in 2022 in order to join the Novitiate 2022~2023. Filled with the joy of the realization of my desire, I was very happy and grateful. One day someone told me that I had a "late" vocation, and suddenly the doubt "Am I too late?" came to me again although that person did not mean it at all.

An incident shattered my doubt of "being late" by disrupting my schedule at the Novitiate. This was how it first happened. One week before we novices would start a two-week college immersion outside the Novitiate, I was stricken by the symptoms of flu. I felt more down when later I was confirmed by the medical check-up that I actually got COVID-19. I began to worry about the college immersion and my concerns were two-fold: "Can I still go?" and "What if all of the other brothers cannot go simply because of me?" Meanwhile, the others also had their anxiety because of my sudden illness.

What I could do is to stay in my room, to rest well, and to recover as soon as possible although I did not know how many days it would take. I could hear brothers' voice, but I could not make out clearly what they were talking or laughing about because there was a "wall" between them and me. Later on, being informed that the others would go on the immersion as planned, I felt happy for them. After all the other brothers left, I became the only novice in the Novitiate. I could no longer hear their laughter, and I could imagine how silent the building would be if there was not any novice. On the other hand, I had more time to pray and to think about how I felt to be left behind. I asked God the reason why it had happened to me, but I did not get the answer. The other brothers shared their photo of activities in the immersion through mobile phones, but I was still confined in my room.

Finally, the flu symptoms lessened. I had COVID-19 Testing, and the result was "negative". I was very excited and allowed to go to the university I had been assigned to. I had the testing result in the morning, and I would take the bus in the evening on the same day. I would have gone with my companion to the university for the immersion five days before if I had not got COVID-19. While I was waiting for the bus in the station, the question "Am I too late?" hit me again. Still, I got no answer. I had a small prayer book with me, and I began to pray the evening prayer. After the prayer, a woman sitting next to me talked with me by saying "Can you pray for me?". She asked me to keep her in prayer because a serious problem had happened to her family. Amazed by the sudden request, I asked her right away to pray together. As we prayed, she wept with tears. After a simple conversation, she took her bus and left. Sitting on the chair in the station alone, I was suddenly enlightened by the answer "I am not late in God's eyes." It was "just the right time" for me because of His loving plan. I could not have met the suffering woman and prayed for her if my schedule had not been delayed by the illness.

Since the incident, I no longer have any concern of "being late" for my religious vocation. Furthermore, "it is no use crying over spilled milk", so what I should do is to be responsible for my choices and to go forward with confidence. It is the Goldilocks Moment and "just the right time" to existentially participate in my life.

(2)

The power of identity

If you believe in the power of language or of positive expression, you will also recognize the importance of how a person identifies himself. If you have heard about LGBTQ, self-identity must not be new to you.

From a young age, I started to feel that I was attracted to same-sex persons. Later on, I was curious about myself and began to look for a place where I belonged to. I went to places such as "gay coffee shop", "gay bar", and LGBTQ (protestant) Church. I kept going to that LGBTQ Church because I felt at home there. Meanwhile I had many friends there, bearing struggling in common with them. I regarded myself as homosexual (LGBTQ) because that "identity" was what I had been taught there.

Little did I know that I would change my perspective on myself until I came to know the Catholic Church. In particular, I surrendered to the Catholic Catechism. Following the teachings of the Church, I acknowledged that "this inclination"(1) was "objectively disordered"(1), and an unusual path "can become a springboard for throwing oneself into the arms of God". (2) Furthermore, I pursued chastity and regarded myself by "I AM a person WITH same-sex attraction" instead of "I AM a gay". By doing so, I was not confined to any insignificant boundary because my best identity was always "child of God".

One special day in the year of 2020 when I was taking a nap in the afternoon, an incident happened to me. I suddenly felt tremendously attracted to women for the first time in my life. The transformation was such big that I jumped out of bed, looked at my image in a mirror, and said to myself "Is that you?".

I believed that the transformation came from God's grace, and nothing was impossible for God. I was more convinced that the teachings of the Catholic Catechism were very true because they came into existence by the power of Holy Spirit. I believe in them and keep living in them without doubt.

P.S. 

(1) CCC 2358

(2) Youth Catechism Q65

2021年時

**