Sometimes I hate my self  with chasing perfect.

Sometimes I hate my self with doing nothing for help.

Recently, I hate I've been selfish for my decisions.

I realize.....earn more, lose more

In the reality, I have to choose in order to reach the balance.

Whether the choise be yes or not, it seems impossible being perfect.

I'm getting confused what exactly the target that I wanted at begining...

When I was little,

I was educated that I should create ambitions to chase or I could be nothing.

While I'm experiencing more , I don't really think that's a rule we should step by step.

I'm getting lost on my way ...

I don't actually know me, myself ....Who I am?

Although I could perform to people so great, normal and show strong personality.

But....No! That wasn't me.

I just remamber "who I was" and pretend being "Yaping".

I can feel people, who I know, they changed  attitudes to me.

I had tried to find what I was before, but I failed....

As a result,

I'm getting with a...."new me"

Following a new me which results a confusing, helpless future..........