沉淪
——偶開天眼覷紅塵
可憐身是眼中人(王國維)
那人以我的衣,我的身
我的眼耳鼻舌行走
那人以我的意與無意活在地球,已經
和我等歲了
那人養著厚葉的肉感的花
吐著腥膻的穢氣
是他所熟悉
他的皮包滲著爬蟲的口涎
晶瑩的流質
是他蓄意傷出的標誌
他總是帶著行走
他想屠殺
又想著拯救,在黃昏的失神
和清晨的幻覺之間,
那人吃著肉
和自己的良知。
那人以我的手寫著真理
並握著豎直的橫柄
:孤獨真好
孤獨治癒了
他常常想飛的痼疾
包括經常把自己弄濕
一遍又一遍清點牙齒
擔心腳踩著火山口
當然
那人也痛著我的痛
我明白
即如恆河沙數
也一顆不少的
降格,再降格
為那人與我的行走
若曾經有過舞蹈的可能
當我旋身不再
背對著那人--
當我起念,啊
Decadent Poem
Chen Ke-hua
Translation: Andrew Huang
I casually opened my god’s eyes to glimpse at the earth.
Pity I’m the one whom I saw.
He uses my clothes, my body,
My eyes, ears, nose, and tongue to walk.
He uses my intention and ignorance to live on earth,
With the same age as me.
He raises flesh-like flowers with thick leave,
And exhales raw, filthy air.
He is accustomed to that.
His skin oozes reptilean saliva,
A glittery liquid.
It’s his emblem of intentional wound,
Which he always carries while walking.
He wants to slaughter;
He also wants to salvage.
Between the unconsciousness of dusk
And the illusion of dawn,
He is eating the meat.
With my consciousness.
He uses my hand
To write the truth,
Holding the straight stick:
Loneliness is awesome.
Loneliness cures
That chronic disease of wanting to fly,
Including repeatedly getting himself wet,
Cleaning his teeth again and again,
And worrying about stepping on the tip of volcano.
Of course, that man
Feels my pain.
I realize that,
Even in the river of eternity,
There isn't a speck of sand missing.
Pain
Makes me see
That this so-called living symbolizes
A kind of oblique decadence.
Step down. Step down again.
For that man and my walking
Once had the chance of dancing.
When I turn my body, no longer
With my back to that man—
When I think oh
Already decaying
Loneliness is awesome.
That man is eating the meat.
Decadent. Decadent. Decadent.
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