After my oral examination, my UK life has been decided and extended by the nature. This time, Aberdeen gives me a new sensation from the old times. In the past, I lived, ate, entertained, struggled and enjoyed with him. Now I am just alone here.

Even though the first month of my returning to Aberdeen I was welcomed to live in Alice Garden, the room is a guest room where usually the landlords' important and precious guests would stay when they visit. Its a refurnished room which used to be Koy's room. The bedding and bedset, from John Lewis, are perfect, the window view, facing King crown, is perfect and the housemates and landlords are perfect but I was too anxious if I stain the room carelessly. The guestroom didn't give me the sense of belonging when its is something I really need, especially the student status is also gone as soon as my thesis is submitted few months ago. If there was no Sunny inviting me to have a meal a day together, I would be lonely even more. We took turns to cook meals for each other; we prayed together before meals; and we shared whats happening in our lives, studies and the information learned from the net.

When I learned about my current destiny, the spoilt me just wanted to hide, be protected and be comforted by the friends. Hearing the steps of Christmas approaching, I had to do something! I started my house hunting. There were several options, but I move into the favorable one in the same area of the old house (where I stayed for 5 years, like my home already~). Now I cook for myself, I eat alone in my room, I communicate with friends through emails, I share my everyday chores and stories via Skype and I entertain myself by watching Youtube clips. Even more, I watch the episodes of comedy drama alone - laugh alone and be touched by the story alone.

Before the oral examination, I had caught the cold with whch I still have now. Since then, I have no idea if its still the same cold who stay and stay or I have been catching several passerby colds multipal times. In the past five years or more, when I felt ill, tired, stressed or sad, there is a person to hug me, comfort me, persuade me to rest and prepare the meals and hot water for me. Now, since that person is not here with me, I got to do them all myself, if I still remember how to take care of myself. But do I? To think some ideas for friends' and relatives' trouble/flu/illness, I am always so energetically, creatively, pleasingly, eagerly and informatively to provide whatever I can do. However, when it comes to me, I just simply did nothing more. Of course, my old routine for health is remained: two lemons per days, vegetables and fruits everyday, sufficient water are sculpturedly necessary. Other than those daily basis, I couldn't think of other methods to help myself through the flu. Maybe thats the reason I have been lost in the battle mist.

But it is also when you don't have your the other half closeby, the importance of friendship emerges. My nature is always not to burden friends, not to disturb friends and not to stick together all the time. I only come to friends when they need me. In the past years, my partner is always besides me, thus, I guess that must have also left my friends' minds settled and at ease. Since my 2010-2011 crossing-months, I recognised the warmth from true friendships, I have been touched and broke down into tears emotionally by their effort of giving me their hands. Sunny is one. She offered her shoulder for me to lean on and cry, while she soothly tells me to cry out loud, not to hold back the crying. She offered herself to go see and the advice on the new flat while I was hesitated about which accomodation to live in. She worried while some calls were diverted to voice mails and brought the MiSo soup along to pay me a visit and to make sure I am all right. She gives me suggestions on whatever I didn't think of before on many occasions. We exchange our stories through email on daily basis, if there is a day I don't write to her, I would feel extremely lonely and feel wrong. This has been a habbit since I revisited Aberdeen while we lived across the corridor. Her friendship brought me to tears many times. I really love her as a friend. On my international student journey, I have always looked for a younger sisters to take care of, like Kiat, like vanilla, like colin, like lixia etc. But I never realise I would have the chance meeting someone who treat me so considerately, throughfully, sweet and maturely.

Another friendship also brought me to tears these days is the one I wouldn't have thought of in terms of offering help before. In the early Aberdeen year, T is a junior student who I constantly worried about and also treated dearly because of his naive personality, troubled study and down-to-earth attitude. After two years, not only did he graduate and receive his degree successfully, he got married to a sweet girl and have two babies. When I was secretely upset about my result of oral exam, he phoned and told me: ''Sister, its ok. You definitely can make it.'' Because of his words, my tears just can't hold back. How does he know that I have been concerned about it and it really has been eating me up. I didn't even tell too much how I feel, I even smiled to and laughed with this young couple when we went out to do the snow photoshoots. How do they know...? Since then, the crossing months between Dec2010 to Jan2011 have been the months we contact frequently. His wife always called and asked about my cold. When I went to their flat to get the korean noodles for Sunny, my cough worried the couple. They decided to cook me a soup (Chinese medicine) using one type of citrus (柚子) which needs to be shimmered for couple hours. When they delivered the soup, a chicken dish, a vegetable dish, a pack of cooked rice, ointment medicine, coughing syrup and herbal candy for throat are brought to me as well. It was not the first time I felt the tears bursting out of my eyes because of their kindness, but it is the first time I almost could not hold back the tears. The junior student T said, my partner not being here with me is the reason they want to take care of me.

Thank you, my sweetest friends. I remember everything you have done for me, little understanding eye contact, small gesture, big effort, large consideration and more and more. Those will never be forgotten and will definitely be appreciated deeply dearly in my heart for so long. Thank you, the friendship.




TN準備的愛心袋 (1) (咳嗽水x2+炒芹菜+炒雞+白飯+白柚水).JPG