March 30, 2012

Stars attract stars; darkness absorbs darkness. Having problem deciding which side you are on? Count your blessings. You will realize that your life is the formation of a star!

National Public Radio had one story on self-esteem and social network (http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/03/26/149237888/facebook-may-not-be-so-friendly-for-those-with-low-self-esteem). The story reminded me of who I want(ed) to be. I used to post sad thoughts and hoped that my friends who cared enough about me to check my postings would follow up “what happened?” and tried to comfort me.

My sister precisely pointed out that I easily fell under guys’ spells. “Marriage is not going to solve your problem. You have to deal with your own problem, single or married.” She cannot be more right. My central issue is that I always try to find contentment and satisfaction from others, from my families, friends, to my husband.

God promised that, “seek first righteousness, and everything else will be given to you.” If I cannot find satisfaction, contentment, and peace in God, how can I possibly expect to find that in any human being? There is nothing wrong that my husband enjoys fellowship. There is absolutely nothing wrong that he helps to take care of some logistics for his mother. If I were truly content with God’s plan, I could have made the most of the free time I have in marriage! Married couples sometime mourn for their before-marriage freedom; I have freedom even in marriage! Aren’t I truly blessed?

We often take blessings for granted. As I wondered if my husband took my presence for granted, I overlooked my own under-appreciation for God’s blessings. In a way, I am grateful for this opportunity in which I learn to turn my eyes to Jesus.  To name a few, I am glad I am where I am (school and department; the city; the status of my study; the status of my job search), my oftentimes-very-supportive-and-understanding family (my sister just informed me how nutritious beet is and beet is easily available in grocery stores), being able to donate blood, I can make cards that cheer up people I care, having you reading my sharing (i.e., being part of my journey), and so on so forth.

My list can go on for a while, how about yours? Have you counted your blessings today? I love my friend’s attitude. When I shared with her the news that UTPA did not grant me a job offer, she IMMEDIATELY said “that’s the best!” without hesitation, without a bit of doubt at all. I paused a little upon hearing her reaction, and she explained. “Whatever happened to you is the best.” It is so true. Since the God that I believe does not make mistake, and as sure as the sun will rise, my God will provide for me and people I love.

I would like to end my sharing with a lovely and encouraging song: You will come.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RmZFaruXhs) 

May your “chains be broken, lives be healed.” 

Have a blessed week(end)!