shit...... i think i am getting more n more cynical these days, everything go in its crazy way and i react crazily to them, hate things, things happen, even more hate things... etc. its just a mess. got things to do but hv no energy. was looking forward to classes but turns out not so enjoyable as expected. kind of seperated from ppl. so shit that little things put me down and turns out disappointed become the major affecter and mistrust and coolness go in n no more fun for any kind of game. so shit that i never get my mind cleared up sinces everything is over and i hv nth but pissed sinces than. hate to be here with this shit attitute. shit that i just repeat and repeat the same mistakes, and expectations do drive me crazy, as they never fulfill. yea~ i agree that ppl always forget are blessed. why dun me do the same? enough to interrupt and ”take care”. these are heavenly too simple. where should i be now? hey, maybe i should not be here. how come its not clean enough here now? i would like to get into the word world and play and dance with all these tricky but beautiful stuff. i would really hope to hv a quiet walk in peace. i would really like to get out and see what would i meet. i should hv me back so to become easy and ok and humble and quiet... i am not going to be responsive. i am not going to deal with that. i feel like giving up. i try to keep things but at the same time i am following out at the same time i am falling apart. i am.....