1)      A vision: a bright path ahead of me

That is April 24,2009, the last day of evangelical convocation, Sunday. 

I remember it.

I didn’t come to church to take holy communion. 

I talked to myself. 

I made some mistakes. 

I am afraid God won’t forgive me.

That evening at home,

I was about to go to bed but I was very clear in my mind.

I saw a bright path in front of me.

I saw it with my eyes widely open.

A very bright road stretching out before me,

with one end near me narrow

but the other end much wider.

I asked Jesus if this is a vision from Him

and if it is, let me see it one more time. 

Then I saw it again.

Very clear and very bright.

That was Sunday. 

The day I didn’t go to church.

I didn’t go to take holy communion.

I am afraid God won’t forgive me

because of the mistakes I  made.

2)      The mistakes

I married a wrong man.

I was young and full of dreams before I married him.

His mother saw me in the church and was fond of me. 

She pleaded a church elder to be the matchmaker. 

I didn’t know him but I trusted the elder.

I dreamed to have a God-centered family.

I turned away all the gentile boys.

I  married in church as I wished.

I knew I made a mistake on the first night of my wedding day. 

He had other woman before he married me.

He didn’t fear God, he gambled.

With the days passing by, his behaviors became worse and worse.

He brought home a teenage girl to sleep with .

He abused me more and more.

One day when my son was 4,

he came home and dragged me out to ask for a divorce.

He got tired of me.  I felt released after being divorced.

Only I couldn’t understand why God forsook me?

 
3)      God loves me ?

I grew up in a Christian family.

I got the holy spirit in my teens.

On the day I received the holy spirit, I heard a loud voice saying,

“ God loves you.”  It cheered my heart.

I had believed that till I was deserted by my husband.

I stopped going to church.

I worked two jobs to raise up my only son.

For twenty years, I have been away from church.

My son grew up to be a alcoholics and a heavy smoker. 

He tore my heart off, piece by piece.

He hated to be in a broken family.

I hated to remember that God promised to love me.

Once I was chasing my drunken son on the street

and wished both of us were hit by a car and dead.

 
4)      Love

My brother never stops praying for me.

He encouraged me to come back to church.

I did a few months ago.

You see. All of you have kept praying for my son.

Last week, he asked me to send him to the rehabilitation center

to cure his drinking problem.

I am so grateful.

Now he has been there for a week.

He called home and told me

he will be home as a new man.

God does listen to me. 

Yes, God loves me. He showed me the bright path ahead. 

I remember the day I saw the vision from God.

It was April 24, the last day of evangelical convocation.

I didn’t go to church to take the holy communion. 

I was afraid God won’t forgive me. 

Now I am sure God still loves me.

You see, I am telling you my story

with tears rolling down my cheeks.

That's tears of joy.

I am sure God loves me.