Having dinner with my friends some time ago, I told them that last year was complicated. The term "complicated" probably didn't fulfill their curiosity and they asked for elaboration. I became speechless because I lacked the language to explain the complicated life that I had gone through.

There have been many times at which I saw an opposite me. Maybe I used to be a person whom some people describe as very strong, positive, dedicated, caring, careful...... In this year, my experience totally disproved these qualities.

I used to think I had unlimited courage to overcome my challenges. Probably I was too optimistic and a bit unrealistic. Indeed it took me an extraordinarily long time to be honest to myself, accept the new perspectives that I looked at myself and make changes to adapt. Now I know that my confidence builds up at a super slow speed.

At this moment, I will say some but not the entire "me" has come back. There is enough component for me to live a normal life. I can't guarantee whether I will feel complete again or when I will achieve that. It's possible the new "me" will replace the old one. But then, this may be how life should be. The nature of me may be ever-changing. Just hope I will get in love with myself, no matter whether the old or the new me.