同志勇敢曬幸福：元芳，你往哪邊看？(金美翎)。（2013.12.26）
本文作者金美翎(中)專訪Ken和Calvin夫夫
“曾在過去的某個階段，我是感覺到我有點不一樣，但是我並沒有意識到為什麼會這樣……在我的青春期那段日子裡，我也喜歡過女孩，也追過女孩，跟她們在一起很美好；然而，就在我進入大學時代的時候，我自己跟同性朋友接觸多了，在一起有感覺了，我才明白，原來這才是真正的我。”——引於Ken Jennison先生。
"At certain level, I sensed that I was different, but I didn't have a sense of why. Going through high school. Through my teenage years, I liked girls, they were fun, but by the time I got to college, I had already experimented with same sex relationship, but it took me until college before I realized, okay, this is who I am." -- Ken Jennison
有人說，這種愛情是病態的；但又有人說，這樣的感情是值得尊重的。芝加哥這一對兒樸實戀人——華裔Calvin與美國白人Ken多年的感情堆積，只因當初的一段美麗邂逅。
Some people say this type of love is immoral; however,others say this type of relationship is very sincere. Ken and Calvin originally met each other in Chicago. For several years, their love has been growing and becoming stronger.
在美國密歇根洲土生土長的Ken Jennison目前在一家商業雜誌社(WATT)做報刊編輯，而來自新加坡的華裔Calvin Lin現在在做一份幫助大學生解決資金困難的工作。兩人因為偶然的機遇走到了一起。算一算，他倆總共度過了3年半的美好時光。
Ken was originally from Michigan and works as an editor at WATT Publishing Co. now, and Calvin Lin was originally from Singapore and works as advising master who helps college students. They have been together for more than three and half years.
他們幸運的出櫃歷程
Coming Out of the closet: Lucky Duo
什麼是“出櫃”？英文“come out of the closet”的直譯，指男性(後來也指女性)暴露同志身份，或公開承認自己的性取向的同性戀或雙性戀。簡單來說“出櫃”就是承認自己的性取向不同。
對於大多數同性群員來說，可以從“正常”感情圈走出來卻無絲毫紛爭是挺不容易的。然而，對於Ken和Calvin來說，他們倆真是大眾所講的那對幸運兒了！
Ken出身於基督教徒世家，祖祖輩輩都信基督教，可偏偏只有Ken一人是同志，因此在他對家人表白之前，他確實有很多顧慮。爸爸很愛他，所以聽後雖然有些意外，但也很快就認可了Ken的性取向，還一直鼓勵著他。而Ken的媽媽一開始始終打不開心裡的結兒，並沒有完完全全認可Ken的性取向事實，但也沒有與Ken樹敵。後來，因為很多基督教徒媽媽都對Ken的媽媽透露秘密說她們也發現自己兒子的性取向有些怪，都來找她(Ken的媽媽)交流經驗並請求給予建議，久而久之，Ken的媽媽卻變成了她們的指導師。大約在Ken向媽媽表明一年之後，媽媽終於肯接受兒子的性取向事實並與Ken一起公開交流。媽媽對Ken這樣支持讓Ken感到很欣慰。“哈哈，自打我和Calvin兩人的感情公開之後，我感覺我媽媽對Calvin比對我這個親生兒子都好，哈哈！有時候我有些小吃醋哦！”Ken笑著說完又緊緊握了一下Calvin的手。
在Calvin向家人表白的時候，他已經做好一切準備了。當然，你們也知道，在亞洲的家庭裡，尤其祖輩是華裔的，對性方面都很保守，同性戀一般都不會被接受。所以當時Calvin已經警覺了自己的朋友，也許他這次的表白會造成很嚴重的後果，因此一定要做好隨時救援的準備。然而，Calvin的家人真的是很愛他，當他表白後，他的家人非但沒有對他發脾氣，反而還對Calvin更加關懷、照顧並建議Calvin做什麼都要安全第一。看得出來，Calvin的家人真的是很理解他們的兒子並支持他。
For most of the people from the LBGTQ community, it is just not that easy to come out of the closet without any major issues. However, Ken and Calvin are just so lucky to come out without causing a family war.
Ken is originally from a family with a very religious background, everyone in the family is a Christian. According to Ken, he is the only family member who is gay . So before he came out, he had so many worries; however, his father loves him greatly, although his father was very suprised, later on, he accepted Ken, and gave him lots of encouragement. Yet Ken's mother seemed not very happy about Ken at first and didn't totally accept Ken. But later, she got asked by some Christian moms about how to treat a gay son, because there were actually some friends of Ken's mothers that were suffering from the same problem, and they knew Ken was gay . Ken's mother started to encourage other Christian moms to accept their sons as gay , and she started to accept Ken gradually.
For Calvin, he is also fortunate compared with others based on his background. He was originally from Singapore, and because in most of the Asian cultures, LBGT are most likely to be rejected and face discrimination. Because of Calvin's loving parents, Calvin had no major issues to come out; instead, both of his parents are very supportive and encouraged Calvin all the time.
Ken(左)和Calvin(右)兩人當初是在芝加哥同誌社區中一個叫“同性書呆子社交相親活動”中認識的。據Ken描述，Calvin是他人生中見到的最高的亞洲人，長得又帥氣，人更和藹親善，第一次見面Ken便對Calvin有了心動的感覺。
How did Ken and Calvin meet? They both joined a social event named "Dating for Gay Nerds" through the LBGT community in Chicago, and Calvin's unique features just stood out in Ken's sights when they played board games - The tallest Asian that Ken ever seen in his whole life, good looking and well behaved. Sometimes, first-sight love does matter!
或許他們的性取向不是直線型的，人們便猜測他們的生活估計也會比較怪。其實呀，他們兩人的生活都很平凡，沒有那種憑空想像的怪胎生活。他們也是成天上下班、做飯、看電視、社交……沒有任何財產紛爭，沒有出軌誤解，也沒有年齡差距所造成代溝，這才是最平凡、最樸實、最幸福的生活。
Yes, they are not straight, but it doesn't necessary mean that their life is very strange. Actually Ken and Calvin live a very normal life. They go to work every day like most of the people, socialize, watch TV, cook food ... It sounds less complicated compared with heterosexual relationships. That's why people always say, "the simpler, the better. "
當然，沒有任何一對情侶的生活是十全十美的。畢竟Ken和Calvin兩人的文化背景有差異，所以在生活習慣中也迥然不同。Ken沒有進屋就脫鞋脫襪子的習慣；而Calvin呢，則不喜歡被外界事物所拘束，回到家裡，鞋子襪子必須全部脫掉才能休息。再者說，這樣也可以隨時保證室內的衛生。
Of course, there is no absolutely perfect couple. After all, Ken and Calvin's backgrounds are different, so their life styles and habits are different as well. However, these just can't stop them from loving each other.
Ken和Calvin的私人健身教練Nathan Masters：“我認為他們的愛情一定會走得很長遠。我當過Ken和Calvin的私人教練，我們也有過私交。我和他倆的關係非常好，平時我看他們倆也特別合得來，很般配。對，我相信他們以後一定會走向成功，因為兩人都聰明過人。”
Fitness Trainer Nathan Masters, "I think they will remain together and be very happy. I have trained them at the same time before, and they both trained with me individually, and we hang out at different events together and individually. I consider them as very close friends. I have seen how close they are together. They will make a great couple. Yeah, I am sure that they will be very happy, very successful, they are both pretty smart. "
其實，像Ken和Calvin這樣心存真愛的同志例子有很多。從科學的角度來說，同性戀的形成有著複雜的生理因素和社會心理因素。那麼，我們來看看外界人士是怎麼評論同性戀的。
Actually, there are so many same-sex relationship examples such as Ken and Calvin. From the scientific aspect, same-sex relationships are always affected by three factors: physical, mental, and social. Therefore, let's see what other people say about same-sex relationships.
來自德克薩斯州的芝加哥遊客Jeremy B先生：“有些人相信兩個男人可以擦出愛情的火花。在這個國家裡，你有自由權可以做自己喜歡做的事。以我個人的觀點來看，我是不理解這種感情。但是，政府機關認可，那是他們份內的事情。我們有自己的衡量標準，基督教徒們也應該把心放平。上帝憎惡罪惡，但他還是原諒了罪人。我不討厭同志們，我只是不喜歡他們的生活方式。”
Jeremy B, "Some people believe that two men can be together. In this country, you have the right to do what you want to do. On a personal stand point, I won't recognize it, but if the federal government or state government recognize it, then that's what they do. We take the same stand; the Christians should take the same stand also. God would dislike the sin, but love the sinner. So, it is not a matter of me disliking gay people, it is just that I disagree with that life style because of personal beliefs."
很多人的性取向不同，無論是選擇同性還是異性或者其他，那是每個人的自由選擇。
All the people have their own sexual orientations. You either have same-sex or heterosexual or other types; it is depending on your orientation.
美國哥倫比亞學院同性學教授Victoria Shannon：“無論是現在還是將來，我覺得同性社群一直都是很有爭議的話題。因為，在這個國家裡，很明顯，種族歧視、性別歧視，還有其它類型歧視還沒有完全擺脫。不過，將來大家也會覺得這些都沒什麼大不了的。解決方式跟'異族交往'話題也非常相似。”
Victoria Shannon, the LBGT instructor at Columbia College Chicago & LBGT expert, "I don't know if gay and lesbian life will ever become a non-issue, because obviously we're not dealing well with racism in this country or sexism or ableism or any other of the "isms." I think there will come a point when people look back on this issue and think what is the big deal? Very similar to interracial relationships."
同性戀族群LGBTQ這個是Lesbian、Gay、Bisexual、Transgender和Queer的縮寫，即為女同性戀族、男同性戀族、雙性戀族、跨性別戀族、酷兒(泛指其他非異性戀的人士)或者是“Questioning”(對自身性取向感到困惑的人群)。“LGBTQ”一詞十分重視性取向與性別認同文化的多樣性，所以除了狹隘的指男女同性戀族、雙性戀族以及跨性別族，還可以廣泛指所有非異性戀族群。
對於同性戀取向，有些學者認為是“Born that way”，先天因素決定性取向。但也有人認為性取向會被外部環境改變。不過，目前尚無證據能證明性取向“會改變”，相反有大量科學研究表明：無論異性戀還是同性戀，性取向都是與生俱來的，終身不可改變。
有一些人士曾經與異性結婚，後來又與同性重新組建家庭，他們通常是曾經用異性婚姻掩藏真實性取向的同性戀者，也可能是雙性戀者。就像文中男主人公Ken和Calvin一樣，從前也接觸過異性並嘗試過異性生活，而後來都確定並肯定了自己的同性取向。
事實上，媒體和名人的影響力是真正推動社會對同性文化認知的主要因素。
In fact, media and celebrities influences are powerful factors in changing the understanding of same-sex culture in society.
中國名人影響力代表人物：張國榮。很難想像，如果沒有張國榮，華語演藝界的同性和跨性別文化將會是多麼蒼白。
One of the most influential Chinese same-sex celebrities is Leslie Cheung. It is hard to imagine, if there was not Leslie's influence, the Chinese entertainment world would be blank in the LBGT society.
全球搖滾巨星Elton John的同性生活也始終是媒體關注的焦點。
The world famous rock star Elton John's same-sex life is always popular in the media world.
Elton John和他的合法丈夫David Furnish如今已經有兩個孩子了。他們的下一代是否會受到任何影響呢？天下所有同志們領養的後代以後會走什麼路線呢？誰又能預想到整個同性社會的未來會是什麼樣的呢？
Elton John and his husband David Furnish now have already adopted two children. Will their children have any negative affects by their life choice? What will the same-sex family's next generation be? Who knows what's going to happen next?
視頻：同性戀紀實Out of the closet (指導、製片、後期、播音：金美翎)：http://www.danlan.org/disparticle_45568.htm
作者簡介
金美翎，美國90後華僑女生，芝加哥知名模特兒、雙語媒體記者、瑜伽紅人、圖片和視頻後期製作及美食愛好者。她在騰訊教育博客頻道發表的博文深受讀者喜愛，為華人展示了發生在美國社會的種種生活樂趣，讓更多人了解華僑在美國的生活。曾入圍中國網民文化節博客大賽總決賽，被評為“騰訊新銳教育紅人”。她於2013年期間創立自己的媒體平台“美翎工作室”(Studio Meiling)。
(本文由作者金美翎授權淡藍網發布，轉載請註明作者和來源)