【ROMANCE MATHEMATICS】

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = Affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = Pregnancy




【SHOPPING MATH】

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.




【GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS】

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.




【HAPPINESS】

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.




【APPEARANCE】

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.




【DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE】

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is beginning of a new argument.




【OFFICE ARITHMETIC】

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime