我琴日拎住封信上左去約期...一路行一路都唔願上去搞..但係都要迫自己做...因為應該都係對自己有幫助既...但係上到去個感覺好得人驚...有好多人...乜人都有...可能就係因為有好多唔之咩人既人...所以d 地方睇落好污糟...其實我係講緊個廁所...我真係第一次咁覺得點解個廁所可以係咁...明明係醫院..應該係乾乾淨淨..點解個廁所淨係得個塔係到..塊板同個蓋都唔見左...無紙巾..地下又污糟同濕..又多人..設備又差...個到好似係d 好有問題既人先至要去個到咁....可能係我真係諗得太負面呱...總之個感覺仲衰過係急症室等咁...係個到我完全唔覺得自己係有病的...其實可能係我太唔正常所以先至覺得人地唔正常...因為我係個到根本無發生過d 咩事而令到我有個咁差既感覺....

我明白仔女唔舒服做父母既就一定會好擔心...但係我覺得擔心都有個譜架...我呀爸今日同我講話有d 咩音樂治療..原來係比一d 人去學點樣用音樂去治療d 患者..咁我明明係患者黎架嘛..仲乜叫我去學喎..應該係人地治療我先至0岩架嘛...但我呀爸話都一樣je ..其實我講咁多野都係唔想去學je ...因為我根本感覺唔到有咩咁大件事..我呀媽仲同我講話佢有一唔之同事定朋友話我可能係撞野....我真係屌的一聲...如果呢一切一切都係解釋唔到既我話唔定都會信我係撞野...明明係解釋得到既...又點解要咁樣諗呢...我宜家比佢地之多左好似仲令到我更加煩...即係你明明只係小感冒小傷風,但佢地要搞到煞是有事咁試埋好多野...又要飲符水.又要搵隱世醫師..又話要食虫咁...我覺得好Q 煩...明明只係細到係一條草既事但佢地係都要放大到好似係一棵樹既事...搞到我係到諗..我係咪真係病得咁緊要呀..係咪要醫院訓青山呀..點解你地要咁樣覺得我?我拗柴行唔到路你就當我係癱左..咁宜家係咪要困住我丫...綁起我?唔好搞到我自己都要覺得自己係好大件事..no big deal !

我今日係到諗...如果我宜家咁積極去試咁多方面既野而個問題都仲係存在...我諗我會覺得仲難受...我本來就認定左呢d 野會跟我一世..一早就接受左..我宜家真係好懷疑我宜家做緊既野係咪真係對自己好...我又要從新去學同適應面對...我原本就慣左...宜家個情況好似我0岩0岩學識渣筷子但係唔準用筷子要用刀叉..可唔可以唔好搞咁多野...我唔想因為我唔想做一d 事而令到你地唔開心..