【七月亂談 15】越想得到越得不到
七月, 我一直跟自己說, 要一掃六月的困惑和沮喪, 邁向開心和享受...
前14天, 都還好了...儘量笑了, 儘量都往好處想了
今早, 居然不想睜開眼睛, 不想面對這個世界
好不容易爬起來, 嘆氣頻頻, 不想上班, 不想天天做一樣的事情
原來 開心 的念頭 瓦解了...
是的, 越想得到開心 卻越得不到...越在乎開心, 失去的時候越倍感痛心...
工作, 乏力...聽說還即將發生我從未遇過的情況, 經典得讓我心寒
生活, 乏味...沒有新玩意兒沒有新鮮事兒, 只有一個老女人在埋怨
感情, 乏人問津...心酸
7月15日的早上, 我累積著昨天的心寒和昨晚的心酸
在我的面具櫥子裡挑出了一個最適當的微笑面具
戴上...貼緊...出門
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Dear 晴,
Happy to hear from you, it had been some time that we didnt really chat. Miss you a lot.
I know all those politic incident that happened around you is really frustrating but to think in a positive way, at least you have the chance to practice it and be prepare for your future plan.
And so am i, having some kinda changing is not a bad things to me, at least there is a chance for me to think over and deeper that whether comfort zone is still comfortable as usual.
Yes, we are in a lazy and demotivate mood currently, but i always believe that we born to be positive and motivated. It is just a short term break down. We can always get back to the energetic stage and have a wonderful play in our life.
So, lets work together dear. I wish both of us can always have smile on our face. (i know we can)
All the best to you.
Love you,
Jean
晴
Hi Jean:
How R u there? Thanks for your mail. Anyhow, i can`t really say everything in my mind here. Coz, everyone will read it.(SCARED!)
Time passed like ashes.
See....my B`day already passed and ur B`day will going to pass as well. It seems that we missed the most important moment in this year( for each other).
I am listening to jazz now. (The Norah Jones new album).It will get me closer to you. Coz i know you love Jazz as well. Anyhow, i felt frustrated that i can`t expose my feeling to someone(or anyone) at london. No One. No body can be comparable to you. Seriously. Not a single one.
Well....let us make our life busy....keep busy ...keep walking.....keep working....WHATEVER.
When we are tired, we will not think so much or too much.
Remember what i told you?Life is short. By counting if we will be alive till 80 (so Cheong meng???) From now on we will only have around 50 years to go. If you getting married, the 20 - 30 years will b giving to the family. And there is another 20 years left. so....we need to keep it up.
I am thinking that we are quite hard to leave each other apart. For what i see, we already depend to each other for so many years. It`s so difficult for each other 2b apart. (Especially the motivating session, and the laughter)
I always think i will be the brave one and the sunny one. Staying at the new environment and meeting up the new faces. But, it`s not easy at all...In London. i learn to hide my feeling. By not exposing too much to others. The main reason is not that i want to hide myself;it`s because after i say it out nobody can understand the real feeling of mine. The sad thing is, whatever others said was not helping at all.
So i chose to "Just telling myself".
I will get a Movie pass. To watch movie to pass time and to explore myself. At the same time, i will have the same topic to discuss with you.
Ok...i think i need to stop. It`s like the opening tab water. Flowing non stop.
Please listen the song by Eric Clapton-Tear in Heaven. Change the heaven to Malaysia and London. And, it will motivate a bit.
Sleep well ya...
And be happy
Qin
口大心
我也來給您整卡車的微笑，
明天會更好，共勉之。
羊...
給個微笑你: )開心點哦...
Hi Jean:
How R u there? Thanks for your mail. Anyhow, i can`t really say everything in my mind here. Coz, everyone will read it.(SCARED!)
Time passed like ashes.
See....my B`day already passed and ur B`day will going to pass as well. It seems that we missed the most important moment in this year( for each other).
I am listening to jazz now. (The Norah Jones new album).It will get me closer to you. Coz i know you love Jazz as well. Anyhow, i felt frustrated that i can`t expose my feeling to someone(or anyone) at london. No One. No body can be comparable to you. Seriously. Not a single one.
Well....let us make our life busy....keep busy ...keep walking.....keep working....WHATEVER.
When we are tired, we will not think so much or too much.
Remember what i told you?Life is short. By counting if we will be alive till 80 (so Cheong meng???) From now on we will only have around 50 years to go. If you getting married, the 20 - 30 years will b giving to the family. And there is another 20 years left. so....we need to keep it up.
I am thinking that we are quite hard to leave each other apart. For what i see, we already depend to each other for so many years. It`s so difficult for each other 2b apart. (Especially the motivating session, and the laughter)
I always think i will be the brave one and the sunny one. Staying at the new environment and meeting up the new faces. But, it`s not easy at all...In London. i learn to hide my feeling. By not exposing too much to others. The main reason is not that i want to hide myself;it`s because after i say it out nobody can understand the real feeling of mine. The sad thing is, whatever others said was not helping at all.
So i chose to "Just telling myself".
I will get a Movie pass. To watch movie to pass time and to explore myself. At the same time, i will have the same topic to discuss with you.
Ok...i think i need to stop. It`s like the opening tab water. Flowing non stop.
Please listen the song by Eric Clapton-Tear in Heaven. Change the heaven to Malaysia and London. And, it will motivate a bit.
Sleep well ya...
And be happy
Qin