放了那首金色夜叉給父親聽

不知怎麼地
他竟哭了起來
眼淚從他老邁的臉龐流下
我也慌了手腳
只得遞上面紙
默默無語

後來想想
我對父親的年少情事
是一片的空白
他從來也不曾提及
他是否有過苦澀的愛戀
不得已而分離

我不知道
也不知從而問起
或者說
我害怕我這樣的詰問和挖掘
破壞了一個年邁老父遙遠記憶中的美好
-----------------------------------
想起一首Brahms的歌.
收錄在Romances op. 33的第3首
Sind es Schmerzen, sind es Freuden
(Are they sorrows or are they joys)
Translated to English by Emily Ezust

Are they sorrows or are they joys

Which tug at my breast?

All the old desires leave;

A thousand new flowers bloom.

Through the dusk of tears

I see suns standing in the distance, -

What languishing, what longing!

Do I dare? Shall I move closer?

Ah, and when my tears are falling,

It is dark around me;

Yet if my desires do not return,

The future is empty of hope.

So beat then, my ambitious heart,

So flow down then, my tears,

Ah, joy is only a deeper pain,

Life is a dark grave, -

Without guilt,

Should I then suffer?

How is it that in my dreams

All my thoughts

Tremble up and down?

I scarcely know myself any more.

O, hear me, kindly stars,

O hear me, green meadow,

And you, my love, hear my holy oath:

If I remain far from her,

I will die gladly.

Ah, only in the light of her gaze

Dwell life and hope and happiness!

父親的過去是相仿呢?
或許這是各沒有答案的問題
只是他的淚似乎回應了我.

啊!愛情!.......