2021-02-19 14:20:15辛地亞

綠卡遊戲之搞笑篇 USAFIS Green Card Program

為了貼摩洛哥旅記居然翻到自己的碎碎唸搞笑篇

看了忍不住還是笑究竟是我自己寫的? 還是網站上別人寫的? 如果你發現是別人寫的,麻煩通知一下我真的不記得了

這篇就在我當年寫摩洛哥旅記的同一個資料夾。那時候被business trip搞到快瘋了

盡是些工作上的旅記被整的全然招架不住。大家只想要我的國際線朋友招待,

最後我終於勇敢的劃下停損點,可是那也是又過了好幾年…

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自從我貼了綠卡遊戲()之後

綠卡花樣就源源不絕綿延不斷

每個禮拜都有新花樣

讚歎於他們的用辭遣字

就是非把你拐到手不可

我盡量剪下大標題就好了

因為實在太好玩了

(以前寫著如果你嫌不過癮那麼就上網登錄個資料吧!包準你會瘋掉

開始來玩熱鬧滾滾的綠卡遊戲吧!別太認真喲!被騙我可不負責喔!)

就當做腦力激盪

刺激你的靈感

學點有趣的英文嘛

USAFIS (以下簡稱U)Get free Airline ticket to the U.S.A.

Response(以下簡稱R)天底下哪有白吃的午餐,這不是詐騙集團的手法嗎?

Uwe want you back, get $15

R一開始真的是利誘啊!給了十五塊還是要繳一大筆錢啊!

UNew Year's special

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Get a gift

Usafis Organization grants you a special gift for the New Year

This is a limited time offer that expires on December 31st 2005.
Don't miss your wonderful opportunity to live and work in the U.S.A!!!
Celebrate the New Year with us, this is your chance to get a Green Card!

R號外!新年還有特賣!

Ucatch the last chance

Make this year unforgettable!!!!!!!

R像這麼緊迫盯人誰也忘不了

UHelp us help You get the Green Card

Now it's easier to get a Green Card

R當然!不容易就沒人被騙了!

UU.S.A is looking for you

R糟了!我被通緝了嗎?

Ulive your life in the U.S.A

The universe helps those who help themselves

If you really want to live your life in the U.S.A, don't just stand there and hope!

R全世界都在幫你了,心動不如馬上行動。

UGet free Green Card registration

R只要註冊就完了!

As a Director of customer's satisfaction, I am pleased to offer you to invite
your friends to the Green Card Lottery Program. When they complete the
registration process, you will receive a FREE YEAR registration for the
Green Card Lottery and your friends will get $15 discount on all our
products. Each full registration from a friend = 1 FREE Year for you

R那不是老鼠會嗎?拉一個就一年免註冊費!

UOh! So many details?!!

R這才是事實

That is exactly what we're here for!
Are the numerous details you need to pay attention to getting in your way to fulfill your dream of legally living and working in the USA?

UWhat's Red White and Blue? Green of course!

RThat’s Republic of China.那是中華民國,這是台灣,你不知道我們就是喜歡玩色彩遊戲嗎?

You are holding a red white and blue flag in one hand, and a Green Card in the other

UTake your chance in the land of opportunity

R說的多麼好聽啊!

Uthe US Government is looking for new people

The United States Government is looking for 50,000 new people to live and work in the United States of America.

R嚇!需要這麼多!美國到底出了什麼事急需新血?

UCongratulations! You are a VIP customer!

Congratulations! You were chosen by our computer as a VIP customer! That means that you are one of the chosen first to receive this e-mail with our special offer!

R:什麼事都沒做就躍升為VIP太感人了!

Uprepare for the journey of your life!

Where is this journey headed? You tell us.
What is the life you were destined to have? That's were you're going.
Don't let your life be a "could-have-been"! Start preparing for your life journey today!

R:準備好走一趟被騙之旅了嗎?

UFeeling lucky?

Now is the time to enter the USA Green Card lottery and win your pass to work and live in the USA!

RCertainly not.

UIs New York City calling you?

Ever dreamed of living and working in New York City?

R:那是幻覺!

UCome fly on our wings...

Let us take you, to the land of the brave eagle.

R:小心翅膀會溶化!

UCalifornia dreaming?

Have you ever dreamt of working and living in the USA, but couldn't because you didn't have the right visa requirements?

RDreamed 用過了就改用Dreamt,實在太厲害了,我倒是沒想過,這是高級修辭學。

UWe want you! America wants you!

Yes, YOU! We want you. We want you to be a Green Card holder.
America wants you too.

R:當然啦!他們需要我們去幫忙繳稅!

UWhat could be better than winning the lottery?

R:贏得樂透也不過是馬上有一個路人甲不管你幾歲就想跟你求婚

在一旁的老婆還會說如果你有興趣就請笑納

這不是betterbetter的問題

UUncle Sam, wants you!!!

Yes you are the one, you have been chosen, you have earned the right to apply for an American Green Card.
Your name came up in our database as someone who would be interested in moving to America.

R:連山姆大叔都請出來了,還不趕快答應?就是去註冊啊!

Uyou have the right to live in America

You too, can be a Green Card holder, what you need is luck and a complete and correct registration.

R:只要一註冊就沒有權利了!

UJoin a culture of excellence

You have to think big. Reach for your dreams.
That is what America is all about-
Planning a future and achieving it.

R:美國人不是超愛異國文化的嗎?他們不算有文化吧!

UDon't you have enough to worry about?

when your dream is living and working in the USA, you can stop worrying

R不,我已經夠煩了,別再來煩我!

Uapplication is ready

USAFIS Organization, reminds you to use your right and get a Green Card to live and work in the United States of America.

R:我知道你們隨時都準備好了!誰不曉得?不用再提醒了!

UDiscover America with Usafis

On October 12, 1492, Christopher Columbus spotted new land - and what was to become a whole new world was discovered!
His three ships anchored at one of the Bahamas Islands, where he reported seeing all the people walking about naked "as when their mothers bore them". Shortly after landing, many of the island's inhabitants assembled on the beach and Columbus gave them gifts of red hats and beads. The natives returned with gifts of parrots, cotton and other goods. History commenced.
Christopher Columbus discovered America! Now it's time for YOU to discover that same America with USAFIS Organization the world's leading Green Card Application Service.

R哥倫布是怎麼發現新大陸的?

只要你加入Usafis你就跟他一樣!

這個大餅未免畫的太大了吧!

UOpen the door of endless opportunities

Where do you prefer to live? New York City? Los Angeles? Boston?
Maybe San Francisco?
Very soon all those options will be in your hands.
All you have to do is reach for them and click here complete your registration.

R:只要你註冊,那就是無止境的騷擾!你的信箱就永不寂寞。

UWhat is the American dream?

No doubt, the American dream for non American citizens is to win the Green Card Lottery!

R:毫無疑問的,那是他們自己的夢。

Ueligibility confirmation

If you want to live and work in America, now is the time

R:還是別填吧!

UAre you afraid to live your dream?

Don't let fear stop you!

R:我還是很害怕呀!

USubmit your application

the best way of winning is to submit a complete and correct registration.

R每次都說你:資料不全,我來教你好了。我知道啊!我就是沒有美國夢而已!

Uyou're on your way to the USA

Looking for a good investment? How about this one…

R:被騙的路上有很多人作陪

UYou decide!

Relocating with your whole family to the USA is not an easy decision to make, but once you've reached it, shouldn't you give it your best shot?

R:我決定了!這一篇一定要寫出來

UTake your chance in the land of opportunity

R:這一句是經典,寄了兩次。

UMove to the capital of the world.

The United States is the center of the entertainment,
academic and social world.
Best schools, jobs and pastime activities,
the USA offers every opportunity in the world.

R:美國就是夢想之都啊!

ULook forward to a bright future

Want a better and brighter future?
Well, your mom was right,
Education is the key to success.

R:誰不希望有個燦爛美好的未來?

Yes, your mom is right. 美國人難道不知道我們現在正是青春期,誰的話都不聽嗎?

當年寫這篇純粹好玩,我的幾個好朋友都在美國,沒有別的意思,真的愛玩而已!每個禮拜都收到USAFIS的廣告信,有時候一個禮拜兩封、三封,終於抽空回了這篇文章,順便把所有的信刪除,可別當真喲!

ps. 截圖是我在網路上找到的當年還真的有綠卡遊戲,現在要擔心個資問題,千萬別當好奇寶寶~

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