綠卡遊戲之搞笑篇 USAFIS Green Card Program
為了貼摩洛哥旅記，居然翻到自己的碎碎唸搞笑篇
看了忍不住還是笑，究竟是我自己寫的? 還是網站上別人寫的? 如果你發現是別人寫的，麻煩通知一下，我真的不記得了…
這篇就在我當年寫摩洛哥旅記的同一個資料夾。那時候被business trip搞到快瘋了，
盡是些工作上的旅記，被整的全然招架不住。大家只想要我的國際線朋友招待，
最後我終於勇敢的劃下停損點，可是那也是又過了好幾年…
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自從我貼了綠卡遊戲(一)之後
綠卡花樣就源源不絕綿延不斷
每個禮拜都有新花樣
讚歎於他們的用辭遣字
就是非把你拐到手不可
我盡量剪下大標題就好了
因為實在太好玩了
(以前寫著：如果你嫌不過癮，那麼就上網登錄個資料吧!包準你會瘋掉
開始來玩熱鬧滾滾的綠卡遊戲吧！別太認真喲！被騙我可不負責喔!)
就當做腦力激盪
刺激你的靈感
學點有趣的英文嘛…
USAFIS (以下簡稱U)：Get free Airline ticket to the U.S.A.
Response(以下簡稱R)：天底下哪有白吃的午餐，這不是詐騙集團的手法嗎？
U：we want you back, get $15
R：一開始真的是利誘啊！給了十五塊還是要繳一大筆錢啊！
U：New Year's special
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Get a gift
Usafis Organization grants you a special gift for the New Year
This is a limited time offer that expires on December 31st 2005.
Don't miss your wonderful opportunity to live and work in the U.S.A!!!
Celebrate the New Year with us, this is your chance to get a Green Card!
R：號外！新年還有特賣！
U：catch the last chance
Make this year unforgettable!!!!!!!
R：像這麼緊迫盯人誰也忘不了
U：Help us help You get the Green Card
Now it's easier to get a Green Card
R：當然！不容易就沒人被騙了！
U：U.S.A is looking for you
R：糟了！我被通緝了嗎？
U：live your life in the U.S.A
The universe helps those who help themselves
If you really want to live your life in the U.S.A, don't just stand there and hope!
R：全世界都在幫你了，心動不如馬上行動。
U：Get free Green Card registration
R：只要註冊就完了！
As a Director of customer's satisfaction, I am pleased to offer you to invite
your friends to the Green Card Lottery Program. When they complete the
registration process, you will receive a FREE YEAR registration for the
Green Card Lottery and your friends will get $15 discount on all our
products. Each full registration from a friend = 1 FREE Year for you
R：那不是老鼠會嗎？拉一個就一年免註冊費！
U：Oh! So many details?!!
R：這才是事實…
That is exactly what we're here for!
Are the numerous details you need to pay attention to getting in your way to fulfill your dream of legally living and working in the USA?
U：What's Red White and Blue? Green of course!
R：That’s Republic of China.那是中華民國，這是台灣，你不知道我們就是喜歡玩色彩遊戲嗎？
You are holding a red white and blue flag in one hand, and a Green Card in the other
U：Take your chance in the land of opportunity
R：說的多麼好聽啊！
U：the US Government is looking for new people
The United States Government is looking for 50,000 new people to live and work in the United States of America.
R：嚇！需要這麼多！美國到底出了什麼事急需新血？
U：Congratulations! You are a VIP customer!
Congratulations! You were chosen by our computer as a VIP customer! That means that you are one of the chosen first to receive this e-mail with our special offer!
R：什麼事都沒做就躍升為VIP！太感人了！
U：prepare for the journey of your life!
Where is this journey headed? You tell us.
What is the life you were destined to have? That's were you're going.
Don't let your life be a "could-have-been"! Start preparing for your life journey today!
R：準備好走一趟被騙之旅了嗎？
U：Feeling lucky?
Now is the time to enter the USA Green Card lottery and win your pass to work and live in the USA!
R：Certainly not.
U：Is New York City calling you?
Ever dreamed of living and working in New York City?
R：那是幻覺！
U：Come fly on our wings...
Let us take you, to the land of the brave eagle.
R：小心翅膀會溶化！
U：California dreaming?
Have you ever dreamt of working and living in the USA, but couldn't because you didn't have the right visa requirements?
R：Dreamed 用過了就改用Dreamt，實在太厲害了，我倒是沒想過，這是高級修辭學。
U：We want you! America wants you!
Yes, YOU! We want you. We want you to be a Green Card holder.
America wants you too.
R：當然啦！他們需要我們去幫忙繳稅！
U：What could be better than winning the lottery?
R：贏得樂透也不過是馬上有一個路人甲不管你幾歲就想跟你求婚
在一旁的老婆還會說如果你有興趣就請笑納
這不是better不better的問題
U：Uncle Sam, wants you!!!
Yes you are the one, you have been chosen, you have earned the right to apply for an American Green Card.
Your name came up in our database as someone who would be interested in moving to America.
R：連山姆大叔都請出來了，還不趕快答應？就是去註冊啊！
U：you have the right to live in America
You too, can be a Green Card holder, what you need is luck and a complete and correct registration.
R：只要一註冊就沒有權利了！
U：Join a culture of excellence
You have to think big. Reach for your dreams.
That is what America is all about-
Planning a future and achieving it.
R：美國人不是超愛異國文化的嗎？他們不算有文化吧！
U：Don't you have enough to worry about?
when your dream is living and working in the USA, you can stop worrying
R：不，我已經夠煩了，別再來煩我！
U：application is ready
USAFIS Organization, reminds you to use your right and get a Green Card to live and work in the United States of America.
R：我知道你們隨時都準備好了！誰不曉得？不用再提醒了！
U：Discover America with Usafis
On October 12, 1492, Christopher Columbus spotted new land - and what was to become a whole new world was discovered!
His three ships anchored at one of the Bahamas Islands, where he reported seeing all the people walking about naked "as when their mothers bore them". Shortly after landing, many of the island's inhabitants assembled on the beach and Columbus gave them gifts of red hats and beads. The natives returned with gifts of parrots, cotton and other goods. History commenced.
Christopher Columbus discovered America! Now it's time for YOU to discover that same America with USAFIS Organization the world's leading Green Card Application Service.
R：哥倫布是怎麼發現新大陸的？
只要你加入Usafis你就跟他一樣！
這個大餅未免畫的太大了吧！
U：Open the door of endless opportunities
Where do you prefer to live? New York City? Los Angeles? Boston?
Maybe San Francisco?
Very soon all those options will be in your hands.
All you have to do is reach for them and click here complete your registration.
R：只要你註冊，那就是無止境的騷擾！你的信箱就永不寂寞。
U：What is the American dream?
No doubt, the American dream for non American citizens is to win the Green Card Lottery!
R：毫無疑問的，那是他們自己的夢。
U：eligibility confirmation
If you want to live and work in America, now is the time
R：還是別填吧！
U：Are you afraid to live your dream?
Don't let fear stop you!
R：我還是很害怕呀！
U：Submit your application
the best way of winning is to submit a complete and correct registration.
R：每次都說你：資料不全，我來教你好了。我知道啊！我就是沒有美國夢而已！
U：you're on your way to the USA
Looking for a good investment? How about this one…
R：被騙的路上有很多人作陪…
U：You decide!
Relocating with your whole family to the USA is not an easy decision to make, but once you've reached it, shouldn't you give it your best shot?
R：我決定了！這一篇一定要寫出來…
U：Take your chance in the land of opportunity
R：這一句是經典，寄了兩次。
U：Move to the capital of the world.
The United States is the center of the entertainment,
academic and social world.
Best schools, jobs and pastime activities,
the USA offers every opportunity in the world.
R：美國就是夢想之都啊！
U：Look forward to a bright future
Want a better and brighter future?
Well, your mom was right,
Education is the key to success.
R：誰不希望有個燦爛美好的未來？
Yes, your mom is right. 美國人難道不知道我們現在正是青春期，誰的話都不聽嗎？
當年寫這篇純粹好玩，我的幾個好朋友都在美國，沒有別的意思，真的愛玩而已！每個禮拜都收到USAFIS的廣告信，有時候一個禮拜兩封、三封，終於抽空回了這篇文章，順便把所有的信刪除，可別當真喲！
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