Taming Your Temper-- The Key to a Better Life

憤怒的解答，生命的開始

"Rage, fury, blinding wrath..." Many people have experienced "seeing red" or have found themselves unable to defuse fury before it explodes. How should we deal with anger?

真是氣炸了，氣死了，氣瘋了......，在憤怒的當下，多數人都曾有過一種「一片空白」失去了自我的感覺，或看著自己的憤怒掀出巨浪，竟無力平息。究竟我們應該如何來面對憤怒，與之同行，相伴為友呢？

（一）聽，身體在說話（Listen to your body speak）

Awareness is the most important step in coming to grips with anger. Psychologists have found that in many situations, anger seethes unnoticed inside of us.

想要認識憤怒，最重要的功課在於「覺察」。根據心理師的經驗，其實很多情況下，我們可能心懷怒氣卻不自知，總是等到一點生氣的小火苗，燃燒成一片火海，難以控制，才緊急派出消防車來熄滅怒火。

（二）暫時抽離（Leave for a while）

察覺到怒氣，如果無法冷靜，最好暫時離開現場，出去散散步，放鬆每一根手指頭，同時轉移注意力，避免鑽入牛角尖，或作深層的「方塊呼吸法」，就是以腹式方式，吸、停、吐、停各四秒來放鬆緊張的身體。或想像自己這一輩子最放鬆的情境，「練功夫」一般的反覆練習，讓自己放鬆，避免做出懊惱的決定或傷害。

（三）第一時間滅火（Deal with the immediate first-put out the wildfires）

Approaches like leaving the scene or blowing off steam are not true solutions. They simply afford you the opportunity to reevaluate with a cooler head the situation that upset you in the first place, thereby providing you the opportunity to "respond," rather than "react" to unpleasant situations.

上述作法，不論是走開或發洩都不是根本解決之道，而是待平靜之後，回來以不同的視角再來檢視剛才的憤怒。讓自己對不愉快的事做出「反應」，而非「反彈」。

（四）學習正面思考（Think positively）

The most fundamental way to extricate yourself from anger's quagmire is to change the way you think. Try going around the mountain, not over it. Shake off the shackles that fetter your mind. This inescapable life lesson may sound difficult to learn, but it does not have to be-a simple change of attitude is all it takes.

山不轉路轉，要脫離憤怒的泥沼，最根本的還是在於「轉念」，打破思考的盲點。說來困難卻又容易，一個翻轉，就能由地獄到天堂，這是每一個人終身的必修功課。

轉貼自：曾涵芬老師http://www.exchange.edu.tw/pedagogy/english/media_download/Taming_Your_Temper-%E6%9B%BE%E6%B6%B5%E8%8A%AC.doc