因為某些，我得到了什麼卻也失去了些什麼。

I couldn’t say anything but felt sad. I was so helpless at the time seeing you goodbye. Years have gone by but I am still waiting. Deep in my heart, I know I will finally get your understand but what for? Because of something I got, I lost others that I used to care so much. What for? Sky will no longer remain clear through these eyes of mine. I did nothing but give up everything. I felt so sick of myself, being a clown amusing people around me day by day. When will I retrieve the self I have lost so long? Everybody is talking about being an angel but how can a devil in life become an angel when this life is over? A heart full of dirty thoughts yearning for the coming of Salvation, ridiculous isn’t it?

因為所失去的，我眼中所看到的世界只剩灰濛濛的一片。

Can you tell me what am I going to do? How can I save myself from these negative thoughts? Human being is one of the most evil animals in this world. So fake, so unhappy. Lucifer has taken advantage of the weakness in me. The last faith of mine is disappearing as time goes. I am giving up.