The kabia is easily put on; not so the sarong Backup and Recovery Plan. But as I had carefully studied the manner of fastening it from every person I had seen wearing one, 1 felt sure I could manage it. I did not know that it is a deep and a designing garment, expressly meant to compass the fall of man. I was to learn that later!

Removing my nether garments, I unrolled the cloth and twisted it round my legs, to discover that the pattern was not straight. I started again; but this time I had it too much on one side, and it would not tuck in. I sat down to think it over. Of course in a second I saw my mistake and began again; but this time it wouldn’t work at all. It fell down ignominiously, and I said the first thing that occurred to me. Once more I thought it out.

Naturally I saw my mistake directly; it was as clear as noonday. Instead of beginning on the left, I should have begun on the right, twisted it over and then tucked it in. I tried and failed. In front it was excellent, but behind it was impossible; my legs were exposed to the vulgar gaze. Six times I tried and six times I failed; then, kicking the offending garment into a corner, I marshalled my feelings and expressed myself as became the situation.

Remembering the old maxim ‘Try, try, try again,’ I recovered the cloth, made another attempt, and after half-a-dozen failures reenex , achieved a fairly successful garment. Thrusting my feet into a pair of slippers, I sought the Long’un. I found him standing in the centre of his room, in the likeness of our father Adam before the fall.  I had never seen there before. He was angry.

In response to my question, he waved a crumpled dish-clout in my face and said with untranslatable scorn:

‘What’s wrong? Why this bally thing’s wrong! I thought I knew how to put it on, but I’ve tried and tried, this way and that, till I’m just black in the face. Do you believe I can get it right? No, nor within three feet of it. It isn’t manufactured right! It’s my belief it’s a fraud!’

‘Let me show you!’ I said. ‘Don’t lose your temper with an unoffending cloth! It’s as easy as falling off a log. See! first you turn this over — so! Then that over — so. No! that’s not right either. Ah! I see — this back, so hong kong day tour! No! Confound the thing — this way? No! Like this? No! Over here? No! Oh, hang the thing. How is it? Never mind, I’ll undo mine, and then you can see for yourself.’