2013-02-13 12:47:08Chi

寫作時,遷就英文還是中文?

語言包含某種邏輯,也就是意思串聯和表達先後,而表達邏輯因語言而不同。譬如,你要通知全體同事關於尾牙當天提早下班,我們下筆第一句通常是:”因為幾月幾號當天是公司尾牙聚餐,所以…”,但在英文信,幾乎不用 ”因為…” 開頭,這不是英文為母語者的表達習性。

拿英文遷就母語是很自然的現象,所以,不管是日式英文、韓式英文或台式英文,一般簡易的書信往來(詢問、索取或提供資料等)不會是問題,但如果你要向對方,尤其是英文為母語者,說明、解釋,甚至進行遊說,最好將中文遷就英文,還要套用對方的表達邏輯。看下面的實際情況:

一家國外零售業者來台展店,由國內設計公司接案,雙方合作的第一個店面(A store)已完工,現在進行第二間店的設計和裝潢。日前,業者來信,提到需要一張石頭圓桌,設計師就將A store同樣的石桌設計圖寄給對方。對方回信,附上他們想要桌子的照片。照片顯示,桌邊的不繡鋼邊條上出現業者的品牌和一些圖案(之前的桌子沒有),而且,桌面的圖案也不同。設計師將他的想法寫下來:

石頭園桌(stone round table)有問題點
品牌(logo)和圖案(pattern)印在 2 mm 透明壓克力(transparent acrylic),然後貼在不繡鋼邊條(metal band)上
這個作法我們還要請廠商評估價錢,屆時在作追加減在本工程上(VO)。
另石頭的花紋(pattern)我們是根據A店的花紋,但你提供的不太一樣
是否依A店, 若要在找此新的花紋,我們擔心時間不太夠。

從他的說明(中文邏輯),可以知道,設計師對桌邊處理的建議,以及他希望業者不要換石頭花紋的理由。之後,他請助理以英文回信給國外業者,如下:

Dear Simon,

We are a bit confused about how the logos & patterns are made for the round table. Are they printed on a piece of clear acrylic and then the acrylic is attached to the metal framework? Please advise. We will need to discuss about the method with our factory first and may need to send you a VO. (從英文的角度,或者保留報價這句,移除”Please advise”,並在下句前加上,”If so, we will need to…”,或者移除報價句,二選一)
Stone pattern ---
We sourced the slabs based on what we had at A store, which is very different from what is used in the photograph you provided. Should we follow A store instead? We are worried about the schedule if we need to re-source another stone pattern now. The table may not be ready in time. (“Should we…”這句對業者的建議最好放在所有的理由出來之後,才較具說服力,而不要按中文的表達順序。)

Thank you & Regards,

下面是我的改寫:

Dear Simon,

There's a way to work the logos and patterns onto the table’s edge as shown in your attached photo. We could develop them on a 2 mm transparent acrylic strip, and then attach it to the metal band of the table. If you like the idea, let us know and we will send you a VO in a day or two.

The other thing is about the tabletop pattern shown in the photo, which is different from what you chose for A store. We could re-source it but don’t know how long this will take. As we are working under a very tight schedule, may we suggest that we stick to the A store pattern?

Regards,

每種語言體系雖有其獨特的表情達意方式,只要多讀、多寫、多模仿,你自然會抓到訣竅,感受表達的樂趣。