Because of the tightness and conscience unconditionally required by the doctor degree, I have lost my cool, been absent from the old frame of spontaneousness and carefree quality. I became very rigid, very uptight and over organised. Not only do I develop an unique OCD which leads to severe level of cleanness condition physically and emotionally, I also uphold multi-layered of hesitation before agreeing to a prompt proposal (e.g. cycle to the sea side). 

I used to indulge myself in red-wine and rose-wine as people said they are healthy to our body. However, these few years had occurred to my creative side that bought them with aspiration but regretfully threw these unfinished bottles away due to the sourness as a consequence of my delayed bottle-up.

My new landlord, it seems the Polish all enjoy drinking, introduces me and fellow housemate (more of Paul, the Scottish; since the other one is a Polish as well) the beauty of vodka. I love it. Last week, when trap in the packed schedule (of lilacing agenda, lilac gifts, editor's replies, taking care of S's emotion for her gohonzon receiving), I was invited to the school bar where the ex-housemate of college house, Lee, used to recommend me to go years ago while my mind only trapped in the Big Brother (reality show) and, therefore, declined his offer. Last Friday, I had a Vodka+Tonic, then another pure Vodka. Aw... the world seems nicely different than how it seems to be before. After an hour in the bar talking to new stranger-students (a Swiss studying in Politics - Ilias etc), I went directly to the Word festival at 7pm alone. It was a rainy day, but it doesn't seem to discourage me to the least. Surprisingly, I smile through whole speech. Even though it was my usual form to smile during the speech, that was for the purpose of letting the speakers feeling supported and soothing. That night, it was different. I smiled for myself simply because I loved that evening. When taking the book for autograph, I talk bubbly loads and loads to the RSVP author Helen Warner.  

After that, I found everything amusing in a cheerful and positive way. I laughed loudly to the jokish conversation between Maciet and P while they were discussing about the toilet hygiene. The alcohol really makes me happy, lightened and comfy. I won't become an alcoholic, neither would I be an addict to it, however, I would love to have Bailey and Vodka in my life, to paint the colours in my heart. That is just so beautiful.