05.24.2011.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

It is human nature to seek love, old and young, men and women, better or less educated, rich and poor, without exception. Yet, what is “love?” Paul described the essence of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Centuries since, human beings still struggle to survive from the hunt for love.

Larita, in the end admitted her longing for love. She was right when she condemned John, her young husband, “You should've loved me more. You should've loved me better.” After John brought Larita home to meet his family, he slipped into his own comfort zone and enjoyed the warmth from the family and friends, but left Larita alone trying to figure out where she stood in the new castle. John was naïve and inconsiderate, Larita she wanted more than spicy sex, which turn out to be something that he could not afford.

The movie reminded me of the mother-in-law situation. So classic, so cliché, and so irresolvable: two women in love with the same man, both have good intentions. I speak highly about my mother-in-law, but after all we are both after my husband's attention and time and energy. To an extreme, if I had known this is part of the married life (i.e., to some extent competing with another woman, which is something I always avoid), I might just decline to put on the ring, to take up the battle, to turn down the package. In the movie, sadly, the mother won.

It was not all the mother's fault that John's marriage fleet. The family's finance was falling, the mother was tired being the one who pulling all things together. His naiveness and spontaneousness would not make their marriage last sooner or later.

It is hardly anyone's fault, if we put ourselves in everyone's shoes, if we try to be understanding. Larita chose to go because she knew she could not compete with John's family. She lost the battle at the moment they arrived. She loved John so much that she was willing to let him go. That was the only solution. He would never understand her past. His family would always be in the way. The reality is never kind to lovers. The “happily-ever-after” moments are not completely gone. You just have to work harder to create and recreate those precious moments. Nevertheless, we are only humans. Sometimes, and often times, it is so much easier to let go. Letting go is not an easy virtue.

Larita of course represents American free spirit. Partially, that's American dream: to follow your will, to make what you want happen, to be true to yourself. And “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

You may find a review on Easy Virtue at NYTimes.

for some reason, the story reminds me of a song, “I wish you love by Rachael Yamagata.”