與理性與感性這個故事的第一次接觸是看李安的電影，後來重讀原著，發現自己錯過了一些精采的對白：

“…My affection to Marian, my thorough conviction of her attachment to me-it was all insufficient to outweigh that dread of poverty, or get the better of those false ideas of the necessity of riches, which I was naturally inclined to feel and expensive society had increased. I had reason to believe myself secure of my present wife,…”

“…I felt that she (Marian) was infinitely to me than any other woman in the world, and that I was using her infamously….”

這兩段話出自紈褲子弟Willoughby在拋棄Marian與另一位富家女結婚之後的自我剖白。他承認自己當初認為對金錢與安逸生活的需要遠大於愛情，所以狠下心來拋棄了摯愛。卻又在新婚之後發現無愛婚姻的痛苦，聽聞愛人因憂傷而重病的消息，連夜趕來探望，並在理性的姊姊面前訴說自己的悔恨。無奈木已成舟，一切已難挽回。

這一段是電影裡略過的沒演的，而我初讀時也認為這不過是為負心漢稍作平反的章節。畢竟在珍．奧斯丁(Jane Austen)的小說裡，製造麻煩的多是無知軟弱的一般人，而非十惡不赦的大壞蛋。就算放浪成性的Willoughby其實也有良知的，所以就安排他來訴說婚後的苦痛並懺悔一番！告訴大家他因為拋棄愛人也遭報應。使讀者得觀賞到惡有惡報的結局。可是我當時覺得這實在有些落入俗套。

繼續讀下去，我才發現我的批評得太早，其實這段情節只是為後來另一段發人深省的對白來做鋪陳：

“…And why does he regret it?-Because he fines it has not answered towards himself. It has not made him happy. His circumstances are not unembarrassed-he suffers from no evil of that kind; and he thinks only that he has married a woman of a less amiable temper than yourself (Marian). But does it thence follow that had he married you, he would have been happy?-The inconveniences would have been different. He would then have suffered under the pecuniary distresses which, because they are removed, he now reckons as nothing. …”

理性的姊姊在開導妹妹時，先以「自私」來形容Willoughby一連串的行為：和Marian的戀情是為了滿足自己被愛的虛榮心、決定娶富家千金自是為了保障自己物質生活的舒適、就連最後的懺悔也是為了減輕Dashwood一家人對他的惡感。一切都不過是為了自我的需求。他的可悲結局，實在是由自己自私人格所造成的。

接下來，姊姊所說的話則是我所摘出的這一段原文。她說Willboughby現在雖然因為沒有和相愛的人結婚而後悔自己的選擇，如果他當初決定和所愛的人結婚，現在他就會因為無法過著豪華奢侈的生活而後悔自己的選擇。

這不僅只是姊姊對妹妹的安慰之詞，也是珍．奧斯丁對人性的深刻觀察。適用的對象並不止於不負責任的紈褲子弟，而是每一個尚在紅塵間打滾的凡夫俗子身上。

每一件事、每一個物品總有它的不完美的一面。當選擇了這一樣，發現其不完美之處，便想著另一樣的好，然後後悔自己的選擇，終日悶悶不樂。雖說不滿足是人類進步的原動力，但又何嘗不是憂傷、貪婪、妒忌和衝突的起始點？

所以下次懷疑自己的選擇時，也許該先細細思量當初為何出此下策，而現在為何又不安於現狀。也許這會有助了解自己人格上的缺失，和目前的情況和平相處，然後才是積極地找尋機會，再做一個不悔的決定。