我不知道,祂在找我,尋我千百度
我從十歲那年認識祂,祂就愛我,我不知道他一直在等我去找他

”Love Sought Me”

I didn’t know He was looking for me; looking for me in a thousand places.
From the time I got to know Him when I was ten, He already loved me. I just didn’t know that He was waiting for me to seek Him.

記憶中父親常常生病,他得的是紫斑症.他很絕望,鄰居來要他信耶穌
爸爸相信這是他的一線曙光,他開始帶我們兄弟姊妹四人去真耶穌教會
媽一開始就不信耶穌,爸信;爸爸領我們去教會
那是一段快樂的時光,爸又住院,他決心要受洗
但不知為甚麼,後來受洗的是姊,我,弟弟 和妹妹,我那年讀小學四年級,姊國一.

In my memory, my father was often sick. He felt hopeless because he had purpura (Note: illness in which red blood cells leak from blood vessels).

Our neighbors invited him to believe in Jesus and Dad thought that it was his ray of hope.

From the very beginning, Mom did not believe in Jesus.
Dad believed and brought us four siblings to church.

That was a happy time.

Then, Dad entered the hospital again. He determined to get baptized, but for some reason I don’t understand, the ones who received baptism were older sister, little brother, little sister and myself. That year, I was in fourth grade. My older sister was in seventh grade.

我們的快樂沒有持續多久,我只上了一學期的宗教教育,爸開始阻止我們去教會
我們還是偷偷去,我們拒絕拿香祭拜,我們不吃豬血湯.爸生氣了,
他的生氣轉為暴怒.他開始打我,只因為我想去教會敬拜祂.

Our happy times did not last long. We only attended one semester of Religious Education when Dad stopped us from going to church. However, we still snuck off to church, refused to worship with incense, and stayed away from pig’s blood soup.

Dad was mad. His anger turned into rage. He began hitting me just because I wanted to go to church to worship Him.

有一次,我由教會回來,爸抓住我的頭髮
將我由一樓拖到三樓,要我跪在祖先牌位前,我跪下了

又有一次,父母故意煮豬血湯,並將我的嘴扳開強灌下去
我將豬血含在口中,跪到夜深,然後吐掉

年幼的我常在心裡呼求,為甚麼神不來救我?

我終於不再去教會了.

One time when I came back from church, Dad grabbed my hair and dragged me from the first floor to the third floor. He told me to kneel before the shrine of my ancestors. I knelt down.

Another time, my parents purposely cooked pig’s blood soup. They pried open my mouth and force-fed me. I kept the congealed pig’s blood in my mouth and kneeled late into the night. Then, I spat it out.

As a child, I often asked in my heart, ”Why won’t God come save me?”

I finally stopped going to church.

我流浪了十年,由年幼到年長,父親過世了,我過著自我放逐的生活.

我恨神不愛我.我結婚,生子.我以為我早已不信有神.

當我的婚姻觸礁,我想帶著孩子離開.我的先生求我留下

我竟然告訴他,條件是他必須到真耶穌教會慕道
原來神仍然在我內心深處

I wandered for ten years and grew from a child into an adult.
I lived an unrestrained life.
I hated God for not loving me.
I got married and had children.

I thought that I no longer believed there was a God.

When my marriage hit the rocks, I wanted to take the children and leave. My husband begged me to stay.

Surprisingly, I told him that the condition for my staying was that he would seek the truth at the True Jesus Church.

God was at the bottom of my heart, after all.

一家人重新回到教會,孩子與丈夫成為我的天使,神豐富的恩典帶領他們
也帶領我.
我終於知道,神一直愛我,祂沒有離開,祂一路領我走來.

The family returned to church.
My husband and children became my angels.
God’s abundant grace guided them and guided me.

I finally understood that God had loved me during all this time.
He never left, but had led me all the way.