英文不好的也可以讀喔
文章為一個男生寫的自白


Why Men want to Date Forever

The reason I know all about the “Stay Single” Attitude is because I’ve lived it. It’s an attitude shared by many men. Even if you have a great connection with a man, you’ve got to spend a lot of time together before the man will even think about something more long-term. But it’s important that they know that a commitment is important to you.

Lot’s of men talk about women as if the woman is trying to take something away from them. Maybe you’ve seen or encountered this attitude in men. Like when a guy will talk about a woman he’s dating and say “Yeah, she’s great but I’m just not ready for a relationship?”

These men often feel this way because they have a negative stereotype in their mind about needy and unexciting women who cling to relationships. It’s the “Ball and Chain” women that makes a man feel trapped and feel his life will be devoid of fun and excitement. And when men observe these types of behavior or attitudes in a woman, men instantly identify everything that woman does as representing a ball and chain.

Men love to date, and they have fun doing it. And I’ve got to tell you as a man that being single and dating as ALL I wanted to do for a long, long time. No matter how wonderful the woman I dated was, no matter how the date or dates went and not matter how amazing the connection and potential was for something deeper, I was absolutely not interesting in setting down or staying with just one woman.

It didn’t matter if the woman was gorgeous and had wonderful inner qualities. My own identity was that of a single man having fun and dating. Nothing could have changed that identity, and I don’t’ know any other way to live my life.

A lot of single men are the same way. And attractive men who are “Catches”, the kind who have good looks, intelligence, careers, etc. have even more fun dating because they can date whoever they want whenever they want. They have attractive and interesting woman available to them all the time. This changes their perspective, and they end up not dating with any specific goal in mind. They are not worried if the woman has the potential to be a girlfriend. And if a date is awful, they don’t blame themselves or think it’s their fault. They quickly move on.

What happens with the guys who are “Catches” and date a lot of women is fascinating. Because of their dating experience, whey develop an amazing ability to identify a good woman from a Bad one (one he wouldn’t want to spend his time with) within just a few words, voice tones, or movements when interacting with the woman.

These men are around and approached by women a lot, so they need to find a way to screen quickly the “Good ones” from the “Bad ones”. So they develop a kind of “Radar” for the “Bad’ women who don’t have their lives together, or have emotional, confidence, or low self-esteem issues, etc. that might cause trouble or emotional issues in the future.

You might think that a man acting this way and quickly excluding a woman if he sees things in her personality that suggest that she isn’t very caring, patient, sympathetic, or nurturing is superficial. But it happens so quickly and unconsciously that most men couldn’t even explain to you how or why they are doing it.

Lots of women do the same thing with men too?

And what’s just as interesting is that guys who date a lot can sometimes develop and ability to attract women more easily than other man because they’ve learned to instantly “tune in” to where the woman is physically and emotionally. These guys spend their time learning how women act and react in all kinds of situations, and they learn what works and what doesn’t giving them a deeper understanding of the signals and triggers that women have.

Sometimes you see these skills go to a guy’s dead, and they use dating as an ego booster. Be careful here…..






The ego driven daters have two main groups:

1. The indulgers:
These guys are going through a sort of “self-inflation” and indulgence in their ability to meet women. It often happens with the kind of guys who never got women’s attention when they were younger, or guys who have low self-esteem but who are now rich and powerful. They now fell empowered and are enjoying a dating frenzy. Men like these can harbor a deep resentment of women and try to date a lot of women as “get-back” for all the years they suffered from female rejection.

2. The romantics:
These guys constantly need the validation and approval of women. They have intense sexual fantasies and appetites. And they are looking to fill the emptiness in their own lives with female interaction and attention.

Not all men date because they’re this way though. Part of the reason “regular guys” can and will date casually without setting down is their ability to remain relatively emotionally uninvolved even when they are experiencing an intense attraction. Men have a internal drive that can cause them to value physical appearance over emotional connections.

But something else is going on inside every man’s head. Men have the belief that there are lots of very attractive women out here, and they could be dating any one of them under the right conditions. For men, dating is an ongoing part of their life that brings fun and entertainment.

I’ve learned something interesting. There’s a paradox I see that comes from all the dating that men do. A man likes to date a lot of women before he decides to settle down… and so in the process he learns what he want and what he doesn’t want from dating lots of different women.

It’s the oldest dating/relationship paradox: You can’t know what you truly want from a person in a relationship unless you date several different people, but you can’t date several different people and expect to have a deep relationship.


Women, on the other hand, take themselves out of the learning process in the dating/relationship paradox too quickly.

Do you know any women who are serial monogamists and who are never single? Or if they are single, they ever like to date?

These women are missing out on the entire learning process of dating and they’re setting themselves up to be unable to identify a good match from a bad one. Dating serves an important purpose in developing skills that are crucial to having a good relationship, such as learning how to identify a good man, knowing how to identify the wrong men, understanding what you’re after, developing personal communication skills, reading body language, etc? The list goes on….




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