秋意正濃，早夜颯颯風裡也滲了半點涼意。街角老樹葉子開始掉下，離開這個只伴隨了數個季節、但又已經是一生的家，隨空氣飄浮於人世，最終也只得散落於灰黑色的石灰路上，莫不叫人唏噓。心蕩漾於如此景色中，稍不經意，人就會淹沒於過去的記憶裡，不管是喜或是悲，也是融合了一種淒冷的心情。

以下是翻譯自電影《色‧戒》主題曲《淹沒》…是王佳芝之歌，也是張愛玲的心聲吧﹗或許，曾幾何時，我也像王佳芝般愛得義無反顧，淹沒於無法回頭、但不分錯對的真愛中…。

這也是我過去的悲歌。

Sunken…

Tonight, the sky is submerged in the heavy rain.
While the odor of loneliness fills up the room,
The lamplight weeps as raindrops outside the window,
Dodging around to flee for freedom.

Memories in my heart mingle with breathless sigh.
Haunting images of the past keep reflecting on the wall
With lingering echo hovering near my ears
All plunge me into a helpless deadlock.

I can’t help thinking of my olden days.
Though I knew my doom is sealed beforehand,
I still entertain hopes to avoid it.
Now, the misfortune comes about beyond expectation.
But it is the God’s will; it is my destiny.

In the moment that I should go, my back feels soaked
With chilliness creeping through my body
And my heart is fully sunken when it wells in my eyes.

Memories keep rushing in
And everything is unveiled.
The love we once had
Deserves to survive longer than my soul…

Instead of roaming aimlessly, it dissolves ultimately…
Love itself is a disaster
Which is as deep as the sea……..as deep as the sea…

(原文)

「這一個夜裡　雨點下得很密
悶透的屋裡　燈光疑似窗前雨滴
四處逃避

心底的日記　混合短促氣息
回憶前後在牆壁響起　耳邊累積
無能為力

前事不斷爬進來
早知道是場禍災
以為可以躲開
這意外意料之外
是天意　上天的安排

該走的時候　感覺背後濕透
冷已開始蔓延在游走
湧上眉梢　淹沒心頭

記憶不斷闖進來
一切變得明白
曾經擁有的愛
比我更需要存在

化開　不要徘徊
愛就愛　只是一場災
深如海　深如海　如海」

原來，一個動人的故事、一齣感人的電影、一首鑽人心窩的歌，可以令人不流淚但又回味一生。這就是張愛玲蒼涼美學以及李安導演的功力。

(惜 071017)