2008-03-16 20:51:23" 阿廷*

在乎

I thought I could overlook your past because that’s part of your history and also what made who you are today. I couldn’t ask you to delete your past. Moreover, I found that the love I have for you is so powerful. I can’t pretend that I don’t care and I can’t deny my own feelings. I couldn’t control myself not to love you, to care for you or to resent you…I hate myself for acting like this. I didn’t want to waste time to make believe that you are totally mine and I have you to myself. The harder that I try to believe in you, the harder it is for me to find a reason to convince myself. After our long and much effort communication, all doubts have been appeased and I choose to believe fully in you. However, the spreading rumors in the past few days have shaken my faith in you. I know it’s not your problem and I am behind you one hundred percent but I have no control over myself!!! I really truly like you and I also love you very very much! With such strong love…the state that I am in…I dislike everything about myself!!! What should I do??? I couldn’t imagine myself as a jealous and cynical person!!! All I want is an assurance something as simple as a knowing wink or gesture…are you willing to provide that to me???