the most impressive thing to learn is to know that both men i had ever dated had liked someone else while we were together...the first time i knew...my reaction was like..."wowww..." but then it turned to..."oh well...maybe there wasnt any true love exist before"...i wasnt that sad to learn about it...maybe for me it was only the PAST...i dont live in the past too much...i always start fresh...not exactly blank but at least my heart is not belong to anyone once the relationship is over...back to the topic...it wasnt that hard to believe cuz there WERE some kind of signs that i noticed but ignored... i didnt ignore those signs just to make myself feel better...it were THEM who always sounded like i was their only love...their words were so real that i forgot to seek for the truth...there were so many times that i could have ended the relationship before i got hurt..before everything got so complicated... i guess i just didnt have the courage to end it... when i think of those moments now...i wonder...if it was because i really loved them...or it was just because i didnt want to lose the "competition" with the other girls...i wanted to prove their interventions were worthless and powerless...but at the end i always failed this stupid and childish competitions i created...they broke all the promises..however...i dont consider myself any miserable...because i met someone who i really want to give all my hear to...like REALLY REALLY REALLY...and the past helps me understand how to handle a relationship better.. the first love always fails because people are lack of experience...like gary’s song.."過去所有的悲哀 都只是訓練我為你勇敢"... maybe our relationship works so well becuase the past shapes us to become who we are today...we both grow and learn from experiences..at least...i think i learn to 體諒 (hopefully).. cant explain why i always feel like im in a fairy tale or something...everything seems so unrealistic...i think he appreciates me as much as I appreciate him...and i guess this explains why i can always smile just looking at him...like there are only two of us in the world...if i could...i really want him to be my only love in my lifetime..so that he could love me back as much with no regret...i know i cant give him many of my firsts..but what i can do is to give him my BEST, which i think is more important in some degrees =]