歐巴馬和蜜雪兒永遠是手牽著手的出現在公共場合，薩柯奇與布魯妮也是，台灣的政治領袖也是如此，馬總統與「酷酷嫂」，「微笑老蕭」與夫人朱俶賢，宋省長與夫人「萬水姊姊」...這些大人物與夫人出現在公共場合都是如此，那一般市井小民的我們呢？

「牽手」這是台灣的閩南話裡用來稱呼妻子的詞彙。可是現在也不像我小時候那麼常聽到這稱呼了，也有可能是因為我住台北的關係，講國語的人多。可是每當我聽到有人用「牽手」來稱自己的妻子時，總覺得溫暖與柔情。Beatles的"I wanna hold your hand" 我也覺十分儁永含蓄而深情，行文至此不禁哼唱了起來....


「牽手」以前在校園裡常見到，出了社會後真的比較少見了。是因為環境的關係？還是這個時代的人真的比較少牽手了呢？英國一項對學生的調查顯示：學生們認為牽手是一種承諾的宣示。西方社會裡，情侶在大庭廣眾下擁抱、接吻、愛撫似乎都十分自在，但是牽著手的情侶也比以前少見了。現在的情侶對於在公開場合展現熱情變得較為自在，但是對於表現情感或說是柔情(像牽手)似乎有幾分怯懦。

心理學的研究發現：情感或柔情可以減少壓力。在生化的研究上發現，牽手會降低Cristisol*l的分泌，高Cristisol可能會導致心臟病或其他慢性病。所以說牽手有其科學上實質的益處。

傳統上，只有女性重視感情，而男性會去談感情，只是想要和女人上床而已。但是這種說法過時了Dr Max Blumberg 專門研究兩性關係的心理學家表示：浪漫的感情對二十一世紀的女性已經沒有那麼必要了。

隨著成家與忙碌的生活，感情往往淡卻或移轉到孩子身上了。或許這就是為甚麼現在較少看到牽手的情侶的原因吧！


*註:
Cortisol是腎皮質所分泌的最主要的醣皮質素(glucocorticoid)，也是血液中含量最多的類脂醇。在生理上的功能有抗發炎、維持血壓、也和生糖作用、鈣質吸收、胃液分泌有關，Cortisol可作為腎上腺皮質功能的指標，可作為Addison’s及Cushing’s、hypopituitarism、adrenal hyperplasia、及癌症的診斷依據。


In the street of Salamanca, instead of holding hands, these young Spanish lovers tapped and even grasped each other's buttock.
by Frank  2005.12.12

Series: Relationships 

Hold hands? No thanks

Power couples are often seen being affectionate in public. So why aren't the rest of us?

 

Holding hands
Traditionally, it is women who have valued affection, while men are often accused of initiating it in the hope it will lead to sex. Illustration: Geoff Grandfield

My parents used to hold hands walking down the street, which, as a mean-spirited child, used to embarrass me. You don't see so much hand-holding these days, except between heads of state and their wives. Barack and Michelle Obama are forever doing it, while Carla Bruni is all over President Sarkozy. Both Gordon and David hold hands proudly with their wives. For once, politicians are setting a good example. Passion may be powerful, but it's affection that helps couples stay the course.

Yet today's couples may be more comfortable being passionate than affectionate. Surveys of students show they believe holding hands is a statement of commitment. The average student is more comfortable heavy petting in public than giving their date's hand a squeeze. Leila Collins, a psychotherapist and principal lecturer at Middlesex University, believes that affectionate displays are increasingly rare. "We have become more self-conscious and detached, so we see affection less often," she says. "Love is a fragile thing, and if there is warmth and affection, then the partnership is more likely to survive."

John Gottman, an American psychologist who has videoed scores of couples in his "love laboratory" at Washington University, found that couples who used humour or were affectionate when they argued were more likely to stay together than those who didn't. But asking couples to act affectionately to each other didn't make their relationships any better – they had genuinely to feel it for it to work.

Affection may also help reduce stress, according to research in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine. Hand-holding was found to reduce levels of cortisol, high levels of which are implicated in heart disease and other chronic conditions.

Traditionally, it is women who have particularly valued affection, while men are often accused of initiating it in the hope it will lead to sex. Dr Max Blumberg, a psychologist who specialises in relationships, believes this view may be outdated. "The requirement of affection is built in from more romantic times, but women's need for romantic affection in the 21st century may be less necessary," he says.

With growing families and busy lives, affection often fades or is diverted to the children. Psychologists who studied couples with and without children while out in the park noted that those without children were much more likely to kiss and cuddle each other than those out with their offspring.

So it may come as a relief to hear that Blumberg questions whether affection has that central a role in relationships. "Affection is only one thing, and not the big thing – the ability to communicate and provide emotional support is bigger – but it is a desirable component in a long-standing relationship."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/dec/12/hold-hands-public-affectionate

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The story was taken from The Guardian.  The copyright belongs to The Guardian.  The author and The Guardian are not involved, nor endorse the production of this blog.