i think i ned mre motivation to do everything.

我想要 除了工作以外 有別的生活重心

說不清我想要的是什麼

但絕對不是現在的失落..

工作之後 才知道社會的黑暗

覺得心機都好可怕 我算弱的了......

很多事情要開始懂得為自己的利益去爭取

我發現這樣的競爭力

壓得喘不過氣 好累

就是我不懂為什麼要為了爭取而爭取

真的有必要嗎

另外...

Am I just mature enough to have fds who are all older than me

OR..I am just pretending mature and want them to look after?

I know im having trouble to be with younger people but then....

Is it just like a excuse that I want to be cared?

.....those things sounds crul but so real...

I think i just ned tym to fink abt ittttt..

and probably to change mysef if I really am that sort of people...