Understanding My Position in Time and Space  by Lee hsiu

       Ever since childhood, I have been an introvert. I don’t like talking, but I like to imagine. To put it somewhat elegantly, I am sentimental. I remember that my brother told my parents that the way I spoke was strange and mysterious. He asked them to teach me well and to watch me carefully in every activity. However, I didn’t take piano lessons until senior high-school. The piano accompanied me through many days of wind and storm. When my mind was full of musical notes, there was no room for bad things. We have a saying, “Children who learn to play the piano will not be bad.” Probably I exemplified this saying.

        It turned out that I was not able to study music at university. Instead, I went to work in the telecommunications administration of Taiwan. I finally completed an undergraduate degree on a part-time basis. Not only did I have little time to practice the piano, but a piano is not very portable. Sometimes I wanted to practice but was unable to. This was very painful for me.

 Gradually, my interest turned to writing which only requires a pen. Now I was free to travel the world while I pursued my growing interest in writing. Writing not only enriched my heart and soul, but it gave my sentimentality another means of expression. As for my love of music, it was passed on to my children. My daughter majored in the cello while my son took up the violin. Occasionally the three of us play together: making music with my children is such a treat.

 What pushed me to cultivate a different hobby? It was because of my strong belief that humans don’t exist simply to survive, but to pursue eternal ideals. As you say in English: “Man does not live by bread alone.” Although ideals don’t guarantee results, perhaps pursuing them will yield a few surprises and even some achievements. Money is important, of course. But hobbies bring fun to busy human lives. Moreover, pursuing a hobby, we have total control over it; unlike our relations with family, lovers or friends, it gives us something that is totally ours to create or change. To my mind, this is a kind of wealth.

 For me, the process of turning from musical notes to the pen was full of sour, sweet, bitter and spicy tastes. While I have found spirituality to be enriching, my life experience has also been very fruitful. I can now say that for me, the love of literature and the arts was my way of attaining certain ideals.

 Undoubtedly emotion is the source of all literature and arts. All the lovers of the world are doomed to suffer. Under the painful suffering, there is a kind of energy deep in the heart. If it is expressed externally, isn’t it an expression of pain? A famous Taiwanese writer, once said, “Literature is a symbol of spiritual depression.” This metaphor is very appropriate. All the arts create a musical note that elevates all that we suffer in life.

 Writing is hard, painful work. Growth in life is a test of life. To face the challenges of a writer’s life is a great achievement. Besides, if you think in terms of success, you are much more likely to reach it. To a writer, any painful experience will reap rewards. It has been thirty years since I started down this road. From publishing my first book to receiving various awards took a long time, but the best reward for me is eliciting responses from my readers. I remember one night my son, who was studying in Taipei, gave me a call.

 “Mom, my roommate is going to move back in with his parents,” he said.

 “Why?” I asked.

 “Just because of your book, Heart of Love. It touched him deeply! Originally, he rejected his parents’ wishes, but after reading your book, he suddenly realized the value of parental love.”

 This was much more gratifying to me than hearing I had received an award.

Thus, while I was passing through the crowd walking along the hard road of life, I saw someone smile from a balcony and I sang and forgot all my troubles.

 Once a reporter asked me if writing was my mission. I have been writing for many years, but the thought of a mission never crossed my mind. I just think that emotion is inextinguishable and that it controls our lives. From parental love to romantic love, it’s the most basic of human instincts. My writing simply records life. The most important thing for me is to understand my position in time and space. I hope that my pursuit of literature and arts can in some small way reflect human nature.