2004-05-12 22:39:00Lillian
Andre 21 - Thank Mom
Andre left the hospital with me. After we got home, he wanted to talk. He was upset that I hurt myself, and I was too upset to talk to him. He wanted us to talk things out, but I knew that it was useless. He still denied everything, not to mention apologies, and I did not even want to argue anymore. He said that he had to leave the next day.
Next morning, he got up and got ready to leave. I was still very weak after leaving the hospital, and I had really bad headaches that morning. I did not plan to tell him, but the headaches were too bad for me to get up. He saw me staying in bed and asked me how I was. I told him. He put a wet towel on my forehead and then left. He did not even stay 1 more hour with me when I was ill. He did not have to work that day. I wonder why he had to leave like that. “Tuning your back on me when I am in need, as always. Fine. You are so good at it.”How many times can you be disappointed at someone? When you love someone, you always have hopes and faith in them, no matter how terrible they are, just like a mother to her child…
He called me that night, and the next night. He talked as if nothing ever happened, and I was tired of working on our issues. I thought that he would call every day as he used to do, but I did not hear from him the next day. I did not think that it was a big deal to miss one day. But, he did not call for 3 days. That was kinda weird. I called to his house and his cell phone each of the 3 days, but I never got to him. I left messages and thought that he would call me back. But, he did not. After 3 days, I was kinda upset and worried. He lived alone so I was worried that maybe something happened to him and he could not contact me. I was upset for another possibility: avoiding from me. If he wanted our relationship to be over, I would like to hear it. It annoys me that people just run away instead of making a clear closure. I hate to be left in the fog.
I was more worried than upset, actually. I decided to call his mother. I got her number when I searched Andre’s house, but I had never met or talked to her. Andre and his mom kept in touch all the time. If anything happened to him, she would know. Andre said that he already told his mom about me anyway so I guessed that it would not go too far if I called.
I was very nervous when I called. Hey, calling my bf’s mother for the first time, and it’s for that kind of weird situation… I called to her cell phone, and she answered. I introduced myself first, “Hi, Mrs. Williams. (She re-married to someone else so the last name is different from Andre’s.) This is Lillian, Andre’s fiancée. How are you?”Damn, that was scary… My accent got really bad when I was nervous. She seemed confused so I had to introduce myself again. I wasn’t sure whether it was my accent or she was surprised about “Andre’s fiancée.”After she knew who I was, she was very friendly. I told her that I was worried about Andre, she seemed surprised, “Didn’t he tell you that he went to Thailand?”F^ck! He went to Thailand without mentioning to me at all?! When I was sick and weak?! I tried to stay calm with her on the phone by simply told her that André didn’t tell me at all. Maybe she realized that she made a mistake. She told me, “Oh… He does this all the time. He called me from the airport.”Maybe she wanted to make me feel comfortable. Anyway, I thanked her and said goodbye.
So, he went to another country when he was supposed to be with me. And it was Thailand, where prostitution is popular and where he got a lover (maybe more.) I was outrageous. After he came back home, I asked him how come I did not hear from him. He lied. He told me that he was busy. I told him that I was worried about him so I called his mom and knew where he was. He was very upset that I called her, and he said that the trip was made at the last minute with his friends. Last minute thing? Sure you pack up and book the plane ticket at the last minute that you don’t even get a second to make a phone call. Crab. He had no guilt for what he did. Did I scold him? Did I complain to him? No, I didn’t. I sarcastically said, “Suddenly disappear on me when I needed you? You are so good at it, huh?”
When we talked, he coughed very bad. I didn’t really want to show my care for him, but I had to. I asked him how he was, and he said that he got very sick in Thailand so that he couldn’t even visit anywhere. He said that he lied in bed at the hotel all the time when his friends were out visiting. I didn’t really believe it, but I had no evidence to question him. But, he was really sick on the phone. That was one of the reasons that I did not scream my anger out at him.
(To be continued...)
Next morning, he got up and got ready to leave. I was still very weak after leaving the hospital, and I had really bad headaches that morning. I did not plan to tell him, but the headaches were too bad for me to get up. He saw me staying in bed and asked me how I was. I told him. He put a wet towel on my forehead and then left. He did not even stay 1 more hour with me when I was ill. He did not have to work that day. I wonder why he had to leave like that. “Tuning your back on me when I am in need, as always. Fine. You are so good at it.”How many times can you be disappointed at someone? When you love someone, you always have hopes and faith in them, no matter how terrible they are, just like a mother to her child…
He called me that night, and the next night. He talked as if nothing ever happened, and I was tired of working on our issues. I thought that he would call every day as he used to do, but I did not hear from him the next day. I did not think that it was a big deal to miss one day. But, he did not call for 3 days. That was kinda weird. I called to his house and his cell phone each of the 3 days, but I never got to him. I left messages and thought that he would call me back. But, he did not. After 3 days, I was kinda upset and worried. He lived alone so I was worried that maybe something happened to him and he could not contact me. I was upset for another possibility: avoiding from me. If he wanted our relationship to be over, I would like to hear it. It annoys me that people just run away instead of making a clear closure. I hate to be left in the fog.
I was more worried than upset, actually. I decided to call his mother. I got her number when I searched Andre’s house, but I had never met or talked to her. Andre and his mom kept in touch all the time. If anything happened to him, she would know. Andre said that he already told his mom about me anyway so I guessed that it would not go too far if I called.
I was very nervous when I called. Hey, calling my bf’s mother for the first time, and it’s for that kind of weird situation… I called to her cell phone, and she answered. I introduced myself first, “Hi, Mrs. Williams. (She re-married to someone else so the last name is different from Andre’s.) This is Lillian, Andre’s fiancée. How are you?”Damn, that was scary… My accent got really bad when I was nervous. She seemed confused so I had to introduce myself again. I wasn’t sure whether it was my accent or she was surprised about “Andre’s fiancée.”After she knew who I was, she was very friendly. I told her that I was worried about Andre, she seemed surprised, “Didn’t he tell you that he went to Thailand?”F^ck! He went to Thailand without mentioning to me at all?! When I was sick and weak?! I tried to stay calm with her on the phone by simply told her that André didn’t tell me at all. Maybe she realized that she made a mistake. She told me, “Oh… He does this all the time. He called me from the airport.”Maybe she wanted to make me feel comfortable. Anyway, I thanked her and said goodbye.
So, he went to another country when he was supposed to be with me. And it was Thailand, where prostitution is popular and where he got a lover (maybe more.) I was outrageous. After he came back home, I asked him how come I did not hear from him. He lied. He told me that he was busy. I told him that I was worried about him so I called his mom and knew where he was. He was very upset that I called her, and he said that the trip was made at the last minute with his friends. Last minute thing? Sure you pack up and book the plane ticket at the last minute that you don’t even get a second to make a phone call. Crab. He had no guilt for what he did. Did I scold him? Did I complain to him? No, I didn’t. I sarcastically said, “Suddenly disappear on me when I needed you? You are so good at it, huh?”
When we talked, he coughed very bad. I didn’t really want to show my care for him, but I had to. I asked him how he was, and he said that he got very sick in Thailand so that he couldn’t even visit anywhere. He said that he lied in bed at the hotel all the time when his friends were out visiting. I didn’t really believe it, but I had no evidence to question him. But, he was really sick on the phone. That was one of the reasons that I did not scream my anger out at him.
(To be continued...)