2004-08-07 12:00:11檸檬蛋糕
Old Habit, Old Hope, Old Love
While I was eating Lotte "bear biscuits" yesterday, I suddenly realized that I no longer looked at the bear picture on the biscuit. A LONG time ago (I am talking about 10+ years here), I would look at the bear drawn on each piece of biscuit before I ate it. A bear climbing tree. A bear holding a milk bottle. A bear smiling. I still remember my favorite - a big bear, presumably the mother, embracing a little bear.
When did I stop looking at the pictures I do not know. Right now, the drawings on the biscuits are not worth that much to me. I am not saying that I will not mind if each bear-shaped biscuit has a blank face. However, I probably would not have noticed even if a crying bear is shown on every single piece of biscuit.
An old habit that I have gradually stopped without my realizing. Things that meant so much to me in the past are relatively worthless today.
I am reminded of the Hello Kitty stuffed animal that I craved. I was still in elementary school back then. I really wanted it. Although at the back of my head I knew that I would not possess it, I still hoped that someday I could hold it in my embrace.
Last weekend, I went to LA and walked by a Sanrio store. I saw a lot of Hello Kitty, of different sizes, sitting on the shelf. I thought that I saw the one Hello Kitty that I once loved. However, I honestly did not recall how it was supposed to look like. I thought that I at least knew its relative size, but logics told me that the frame of reference has shifted as I have grown taller and bigger.
Now I have the ability to afford and the opportunity to possess it. Only do I realize that I no longer want it.
People whom we have once loved and treasured in the past. People whom we thought to possess all the good qualities. People whom we regarded as our best friends, thinking that our friendship would last forever. I want to remember all of them. Everyone of them, one by one, remembering everything about them clearly and accurately. If only I can save all these precious and wonderful memories piece by piece. Just to show how my life has been colorful.
From my clearly remembering which bear picture I loved the most, to my vaguely recalling which Hello Kitty I craved, I come to the stage of wanting to rememeber who I loved and why I like them but only find out how unreliable my memory can be.
When I take a look at the empty Lotte "bear biscuit" bag that is sitting in the trash can, its memory seems very far away from me. How do you tell when the good time to empty the trash can is?
When did I stop looking at the pictures I do not know. Right now, the drawings on the biscuits are not worth that much to me. I am not saying that I will not mind if each bear-shaped biscuit has a blank face. However, I probably would not have noticed even if a crying bear is shown on every single piece of biscuit.
An old habit that I have gradually stopped without my realizing. Things that meant so much to me in the past are relatively worthless today.
I am reminded of the Hello Kitty stuffed animal that I craved. I was still in elementary school back then. I really wanted it. Although at the back of my head I knew that I would not possess it, I still hoped that someday I could hold it in my embrace.
Last weekend, I went to LA and walked by a Sanrio store. I saw a lot of Hello Kitty, of different sizes, sitting on the shelf. I thought that I saw the one Hello Kitty that I once loved. However, I honestly did not recall how it was supposed to look like. I thought that I at least knew its relative size, but logics told me that the frame of reference has shifted as I have grown taller and bigger.
Now I have the ability to afford and the opportunity to possess it. Only do I realize that I no longer want it.
People whom we have once loved and treasured in the past. People whom we thought to possess all the good qualities. People whom we regarded as our best friends, thinking that our friendship would last forever. I want to remember all of them. Everyone of them, one by one, remembering everything about them clearly and accurately. If only I can save all these precious and wonderful memories piece by piece. Just to show how my life has been colorful.
From my clearly remembering which bear picture I loved the most, to my vaguely recalling which Hello Kitty I craved, I come to the stage of wanting to rememeber who I loved and why I like them but only find out how unreliable my memory can be.
When I take a look at the empty Lotte "bear biscuit" bag that is sitting in the trash can, its memory seems very far away from me. How do you tell when the good time to empty the trash can is?