昨天表演得很高興，決定今天再表演一次。

”The Historic Fart”
From Arabian Nights

They recount that in the city of Kaukaban in Yemen there was a man
named Abu Hasan of the Fadhli tribe who left the Bedouin life and
became a townsman and the wealthiest of merchants. His wife died
while both were young, and his friends pressed him to marry again.

Weary of their pressure, Abu Hasan entered into negotiations with
the old women who procure matches, and married a woman as beautiful
as the moon shining over the sea. To the wedding banquet he invited
kith and kin, ulema and fakirs, friends and foes, and all of his
acquaintances.

The whole house was thrown open to feasting: There were five
different colors of rice, and sherbets of as many more; kid goats
stuffed with walnuts, almonds, and pistachios; and a young camel
roasted whole. So they ate and drank and made merry.

The bride was displayed in her seven dresses -- and one more -- to
the women, who could not take their eyes off her. At last the
bridegroom was summoned to the chamber where she sat enthroned. He
rose slowly and with dignity from his divan; but in do doing, for he
was over full of meat and drink, he let fly a great and terrible
fart.

In fear for their lives, all the guests immediately turned to their
neighbors and talked aloud, pretending to have heard nothing.

Mortified, Abu Hasan turned away from the bridal chamber and as if
to answer a call of nature. He went down to the courtyard, saddled
his mare, and rode off, weeping bitterly through the night.

In time he reached Lahej where he found a ship ready to sail for
India; so he boarded, arriving ultimately at Calicut on the Malabar
coast. Here he met with many Arabs, especially from Hadramaut, who
recommended him to the King. This King (who was a Kafir) trusted him
and advanced him to the captaincy of his bodyguard. He remained
there ten years, in peace and happiness, but finally was overcome
with homesickness. His longing to behold his native land was like
that of a lover pining for his beloved; and it nearly cost him his
life.

Finally he sneaked away without taking leave and made his way to
Makalla in Hadramaut. Here he donned the rags of a dervish. Keeping
his name and circumstances a secret, he set forth on foot for
Kaukaban. He endured a thousand hardships of hunger, thirst, and
fatigue; and braved a thousand dangers from lions, snakes, and
ghouls.

Drawing near to his old home, he looked down upon it from the hills
with brimming eyes, and said to himself, ”They might recognize me,
so I will wander about the outskirts and listen to what people are
saying. May Allah grant that they do not remember what happened.”

He listened carefully for seven nights and seven days, until it
happened that, as he was sitting at the door of a hut, he heard the
voice of a young girl saying, ”Mother, tell me what day was I born
on, for one of my companions wants to tell my fortune.”

The mother answered, ”My daughter, you were born on the very night
when Abu Hasan farted.”

No sooner had the listener heard these words than he rose up from
the bench and fled, saying to himself, ”Verily my fart has become a
date! It will be remembered for ever and ever.

He continued on his way, returning finally to India, where he
remained in self exile until he died. May the mercy of Allah be upon
him!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Source: The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night: A Plain and
Literal Translation of the Arabian Nights Entertainments, translated
by Richard F. Burton (Privately printed by the Burton Club, 1885),
vol. 5, pp. 135-137. Translation revised by D. L. Ashliman.

http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/fart.html#historicfart