有的人會問「你好嗎？」

這問題其實會讓我不知所措
因為我不知道究竟該怎麼回答這個問題

我不愛說謊（大部分的時候啦）

所以有時候乾脆不答
或是乾脆消失（不是逃避，而是這樣比較快...）


我好嗎？
這要看每個人對好的定義是什麼

我很好阿

每天一樣起床上班
一樣吃媽媽煮的早餐
一樣搭爸爸的車上班
一樣在公司嘻嘻哈哈
一樣和同事亂扯一通
一樣在公司假裝加班

這樣就是「好」嗎？

事實是我不好阿

每天一定要等到網誌更新時間過了
到兩三點才睡的著
本來6點40就起床
現在都拖拖拉拉無精打采到7點半才起床
本來電話費雖多，但我心甘情願付的開心
現在電話費變好少，但我卻他媽的一點也快樂不起來
本來上班對我說是快樂的
現在上班卻變成我逃避的最好去處
本來寫網誌是開心的
現在卻一天到晚充滿哀傷

這也是我阿

你/妳想聽到哪一個我？
我可以很配合的說出需要的答案

但，那就是我嗎？


在網誌上看到了這首歌
歌詞寫得頗貼切


Lene Marlin - Disguise

Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Are you waiting for the day
When your pain will disappear
When you know that it's not true
What they say about you
You could not care less about the things
Surrounding you
Ignoring all the voices from the walls

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come

你是否也曾感到心裡有種空虛
你無法探測 別人的看法
堅強起來 別讓人知道自己的脆弱
你是否也曾告訴別人 那不切實際的謊言
讓人以為你很好
只為讓他們停止
所有的臆測 與那些疑問

我很好 現在真的很好
只是需要點時間 去理出頭緒來
不是在說謊 對你我一向誠實
只是還不知道我們之間未來的發展

你是否也曾經看著你的臉 鏡子裡的笑容
但你的心思紊亂 你感覺不安
需要隱藏 因為他們永遠不懂
你是否也曾這麼妄想 逃到別的地方
拋開偽裝 你所有的害怕
從那一刻開始 讓自己看得清楚






恩....我很好..