After several days and months tortuned, I consequently and tentatively finish those perplexed process. The road is still straight up and the entrance of the state seems not too far away. But, passing through those handicaps that are as similar as walls being set the way, I, suggestively, intimidate by somekind unknown force (can be described as phantom menace?) and ferment up some undiscriptive vain of my mind. What substances do I lose actually? I literally can not tell. Seeing through others who resemble my case but showing different sentiment upon, they are very vivid and full of passion of which the means they longed for so long. I might ascribe them to the "buffs of US". It is however a totally different thought if anything insists in my mind, indeed, I hate those white skin people who reveal their egoism and racism and Darwinism--discriminating "colored-people" with them. But things are not like that, they actually like the "overpampering" child whom grew up as a hoodlum with empty and short-sighted perspective. Bombastic words makes them accreted up day by day, as a big balloon can not sustain a one tiny slight prod. So that is why their economy is withering gradually and debts accumulate up and up. Having no chioce and reluctant to say, they are still the usher of the earth. Damn it!!