2007-02-25 06:32:23James段
“The Starry, Starry Night”
Yes, this is the title of my story. But it has got nothing to do with the famous painting which has the same name---starry, starry night by Vincent Van Gogh or the song “Vincent” written by one of my favorite songwriters, Don Mcklean.
Again, this is a story that happened to me.
Please just take a good look at me first; then, I’ll say you’d already read the whole story through (don’t worry; I’m not going to finish it just like this!) Well, what I mean is: what you’re looking at here is a man who used to lose everything only in one day, but managed to have everything back years later.
One morning in September 1993, in Glendora, L.A, I finally signed those documents made by my ex-wife’s lawyer. By a few strokes of my autographs, I had given up all my legal rights with my properties---cars, a house, and money, everything to her. With some funny feeling, I decided not to send any attorney or lawyer to play the zigzag games with her. Thus, all of a sudden, I became someone who has only 700 dollars in the pocket, even though who used to own a nice house with swimming pool, a Cadillac 1992, a Camry 1990, CD account, stocks and……a wife. On a contrary, my ex-wife had won herself everything plus the green card that I had for her, though she has gotten a little shock for my simple reaction.
Since I had this eagerness of becoming a lama (Tibetan monk) in heart for quite a long time, after my signing, I thought it should be a good starting point for me to actualize my dream of “出家”.
That night, I packed the least necessary belongings for one suitcase. Having left all the other “used to be important” stuffs alone, I tried to be ready facing my “looking for a master” trip the next day. Then the most difficult moment in my life came to me---to abandon all my personal photographs since the day I was born, all the poetry, the lyrics, songs, the notes, drafts for speech and the compositions that created by myself---this was even far much harder for me to do than what I did in the morning.
I collected all of them for tow boxes, carried them to the front yard. Before putting them into a large garbage bin, I raised my head and found the most brilliant view that I have ever seen. The sky was almost crowded with the shinny stars, and it looked just like someone has spread a millions of diamonds on a huge piece of dark blue velvet. The view was so spectacular and unforgettable. I threw all those “then- treasure- now- trash” things away from my hands and went back into my “house- for- the- last- night” without a sigh or anything--- just like that.
Eventually, I wasn’t able to make it for becoming a lama (that will be another story, though). But after all these years, as you can see, I survived. Now I live happily with my just married wife in a cozy apartment without any swimming pool or yards in Taipei. My life goes on well, and I believe everything will go on better then better.
The past has become only the parts of memory. Every time I recall this part of my life, the first thing coming into mind is not the matter of my divorcing itself, but the beautiful starry sky of that night.
What do you think of this story? I know it’s not exciting enough, but I’m sure it’s quite a genuine one. I’d really like to share with all of you here with my sincerity.
About my comment to this story, I like to conclude it only by one of the great Chinese poets ---李白’s famous phrase: 千金散盡還復來. My translation for it is like this: Just let go what it has to go, for the great returning afterwards.
那夜星光燦爛
是的，故事的題目正是如此。但是這和梵谷的那幅同名名畫，或我最喜歡的吉他手Don Mcklean寫的歌曲 “Vincent”可沒什麼關係。
沒錯，你們猜對了！這次要說的又是我的親身經歷。
請先仔細看我，仔細的看。然後我就要告訴你，你已經把整篇故事讀完了（先別擔心，我當然不會講到這裡就下台了）。
呃，我的意思其實是以下所說的這個曾在一天之內失去一切所有，而幾年後再重新擁有一切的人，不是別人正就是我。
1993年九月的某個早晨，我終於簽下了出自我前妻律師之手的全部文件。
只不過幾筆習慣的簽名手勢，我放棄了我所有財產的權利──車子、房子、錢、一切一切。某種奇怪的心情使我決定：不請任何律師，不作任何反應，不玩任何她原先預期的訴訟遊戲。而因此，忽然間我就變成一個全部所有只剩下700美金的美國公民。那些四房兩廳帶泳池、92年Cadillac、存摺等等，明天起就和我沒有任何關係了。而雖然我的反應有點出乎我前妻的意料，她還是合法的贏走了一切，包括那張她因我而有的綠卡......
因為在那之前已經好久，我一直夢想去做個喇嘛（不一定要在哪裡做）。只是這個想法一直只藏在心裡，而那幾筆簽名反而使我立刻就來到了「說做就做」的臨界點。一下子，腦中所想的通通都是有關出家的各種內外規定。
當天晚上，我把所有暫時不能捨棄的東西打包成一個皮箱。將所有其他曾經重要的東西，通通視若不見。為明天起將展開的「尋師之旅」作準備。這時最困難的事來了──要丟掉我所有自幼至今的照片、所有個人的手稿、創作的歌曲、歌詞、文章、筆記、演講稿，這個可要比早上的簽名難的太多了！我把它們收成兩個大紙箱，抱到前院。就在我將要把他們放進大號垃圾桶時，我一仰頭就看見了我這一輩子所見過的最美麗壯闊的夜空。那是被亮晶晶的星星擠的好滿，好像巨幅深藍絲絨被灑滿了鑽石的奇景。那麼不同，那麼令人難忘。我把那兩箱「過去的寶貝，現在的垃圾」親手丟下。就這樣轉身，回到我最後一晚的屋子裏......
到頭來，我還是沒完成我的喇嘛夢（這又是另一個故事了）。而這些年下來，正如你所見，我還是活著，而且還和我的新婚太太、沒有泳池院子卻很舒適的台北的公寓和一隻瑪爾濟思一起快樂的活著！我的人生過的頗好，而且自己也相信會越過越好。
過去的事都只成為記憶的某部份。而每次我再憶起人生的這一段，第一個想起的都不是離婚那檔事，卻是那晚燦爛的星空。
這樣的故事可能跟你們預期的不同，既非幽默小品也非智慧寓言。但是我保證它很真實，我誠懇的願和你分享它。至於對故事該有什麼comment？我想借用中國詩人李白的名句：「千金散盡還復來」作為結束。對這了不起的好句子，我的譯文如下："Just let go what it has to go, for the great returning afterwards".
Again, this is a story that happened to me.
Please just take a good look at me first; then, I’ll say you’d already read the whole story through (don’t worry; I’m not going to finish it just like this!) Well, what I mean is: what you’re looking at here is a man who used to lose everything only in one day, but managed to have everything back years later.
One morning in September 1993, in Glendora, L.A, I finally signed those documents made by my ex-wife’s lawyer. By a few strokes of my autographs, I had given up all my legal rights with my properties---cars, a house, and money, everything to her. With some funny feeling, I decided not to send any attorney or lawyer to play the zigzag games with her. Thus, all of a sudden, I became someone who has only 700 dollars in the pocket, even though who used to own a nice house with swimming pool, a Cadillac 1992, a Camry 1990, CD account, stocks and……a wife. On a contrary, my ex-wife had won herself everything plus the green card that I had for her, though she has gotten a little shock for my simple reaction.
Since I had this eagerness of becoming a lama (Tibetan monk) in heart for quite a long time, after my signing, I thought it should be a good starting point for me to actualize my dream of “出家”.
That night, I packed the least necessary belongings for one suitcase. Having left all the other “used to be important” stuffs alone, I tried to be ready facing my “looking for a master” trip the next day. Then the most difficult moment in my life came to me---to abandon all my personal photographs since the day I was born, all the poetry, the lyrics, songs, the notes, drafts for speech and the compositions that created by myself---this was even far much harder for me to do than what I did in the morning.
I collected all of them for tow boxes, carried them to the front yard. Before putting them into a large garbage bin, I raised my head and found the most brilliant view that I have ever seen. The sky was almost crowded with the shinny stars, and it looked just like someone has spread a millions of diamonds on a huge piece of dark blue velvet. The view was so spectacular and unforgettable. I threw all those “then- treasure- now- trash” things away from my hands and went back into my “house- for- the- last- night” without a sigh or anything--- just like that.
Eventually, I wasn’t able to make it for becoming a lama (that will be another story, though). But after all these years, as you can see, I survived. Now I live happily with my just married wife in a cozy apartment without any swimming pool or yards in Taipei. My life goes on well, and I believe everything will go on better then better.
The past has become only the parts of memory. Every time I recall this part of my life, the first thing coming into mind is not the matter of my divorcing itself, but the beautiful starry sky of that night.
What do you think of this story? I know it’s not exciting enough, but I’m sure it’s quite a genuine one. I’d really like to share with all of you here with my sincerity.
About my comment to this story, I like to conclude it only by one of the great Chinese poets ---李白’s famous phrase: 千金散盡還復來. My translation for it is like this: Just let go what it has to go, for the great returning afterwards.
那夜星光燦爛
是的，故事的題目正是如此。但是這和梵谷的那幅同名名畫，或我最喜歡的吉他手Don Mcklean寫的歌曲 “Vincent”可沒什麼關係。
沒錯，你們猜對了！這次要說的又是我的親身經歷。
請先仔細看我，仔細的看。然後我就要告訴你，你已經把整篇故事讀完了（先別擔心，我當然不會講到這裡就下台了）。
呃，我的意思其實是以下所說的這個曾在一天之內失去一切所有，而幾年後再重新擁有一切的人，不是別人正就是我。
1993年九月的某個早晨，我終於簽下了出自我前妻律師之手的全部文件。
只不過幾筆習慣的簽名手勢，我放棄了我所有財產的權利──車子、房子、錢、一切一切。某種奇怪的心情使我決定：不請任何律師，不作任何反應，不玩任何她原先預期的訴訟遊戲。而因此，忽然間我就變成一個全部所有只剩下700美金的美國公民。那些四房兩廳帶泳池、92年Cadillac、存摺等等，明天起就和我沒有任何關係了。而雖然我的反應有點出乎我前妻的意料，她還是合法的贏走了一切，包括那張她因我而有的綠卡......
因為在那之前已經好久，我一直夢想去做個喇嘛（不一定要在哪裡做）。只是這個想法一直只藏在心裡，而那幾筆簽名反而使我立刻就來到了「說做就做」的臨界點。一下子，腦中所想的通通都是有關出家的各種內外規定。
當天晚上，我把所有暫時不能捨棄的東西打包成一個皮箱。將所有其他曾經重要的東西，通通視若不見。為明天起將展開的「尋師之旅」作準備。這時最困難的事來了──要丟掉我所有自幼至今的照片、所有個人的手稿、創作的歌曲、歌詞、文章、筆記、演講稿，這個可要比早上的簽名難的太多了！我把它們收成兩個大紙箱，抱到前院。就在我將要把他們放進大號垃圾桶時，我一仰頭就看見了我這一輩子所見過的最美麗壯闊的夜空。那是被亮晶晶的星星擠的好滿，好像巨幅深藍絲絨被灑滿了鑽石的奇景。那麼不同，那麼令人難忘。我把那兩箱「過去的寶貝，現在的垃圾」親手丟下。就這樣轉身，回到我最後一晚的屋子裏......
到頭來，我還是沒完成我的喇嘛夢（這又是另一個故事了）。而這些年下來，正如你所見，我還是活著，而且還和我的新婚太太、沒有泳池院子卻很舒適的台北的公寓和一隻瑪爾濟思一起快樂的活著！我的人生過的頗好，而且自己也相信會越過越好。
過去的事都只成為記憶的某部份。而每次我再憶起人生的這一段，第一個想起的都不是離婚那檔事，卻是那晚燦爛的星空。
這樣的故事可能跟你們預期的不同，既非幽默小品也非智慧寓言。但是我保證它很真實，我誠懇的願和你分享它。至於對故事該有什麼comment？我想借用中國詩人李白的名句：「千金散盡還復來」作為結束。對這了不起的好句子，我的譯文如下："Just let go what it has to go, for the great returning afterwards".
恩 祝你現在更幸福 堅持自己想做的
決定 就 坐下去