Sometimes I think I am an outgoing person;
but sometimes I think I prefer to bear lonliness than to deal with troubles that occur because of certain close relationships.
Most of the time people are trying to get friends, get hearts, get attentions,
but there are times when one would be tired of socializing.

Let us think about this invisible wish:
How can I avoid people?
or
How can I avoid certain individuals?

No wonder adults teach their kids:
Learn how to say "NO!".

Well, but they didn't tell us what else can we do.

What else can we do-- if we get stuck in these circumstances:

1.
"Sorry, I will go to sleep soon. Can you go to someone else for computer?"
"Oh, that's fine. You just need to let me come and open the door. You can sleep while I am using the computer..."


Then what else can we say other than "OK....-_-..." How can I get into sleep when you are beside with the computer switched on?! But it would be too mean to say that..


2.
"Are you home?"
"No, I am on campus. What do you want?"
"I want to use your telephone line in your house."
"Oh, but I am not home."
"How about your roommates?"
"That I do not know. I am not close with them."
"Can you give me their numbers?"
"Hm.. since I am not close with them I don't know whether I should give it to you. Let me give you the home phone number. You try calling and see whether someone's at home."


This is the finest answer I can give. BUT...since I am REALLY not close with my roommates, I think that actually means that in this situation it becomes that I am bothering my roommates, not her. But I don't even want to help.....

3.
At 11:30pm

"When will you leave?"
"Ah...I think I need to stay for a long while."
"What?!"
"I said I need to stay for a long while."
"Why?" (with an impatient look)
"I want to study at your place."
(Why do you want to study at my place?! I don't know you well and I don't think we are at all close)
"OK......."

Then she unpluged the cable line and put it into her laptop.
"Can you excuse me? I want to sit here.."
"OK.." (and I got up, walking around, then decided I should take a shower)
"Oh, can you wait? I want to use the toilet..."
"OK, but I will take a shower after that."



Friends, if you have any good suggestions, please let me know. If it is Douglas who wants to come to my place ar 1am, as long as my roommates are fine with that, I would never mind. If it is Anna, even if my roommates do mind, I will let her come and I will apologize afterwards. But if that's someone who has no courtesy, no brains and so so dependent, I wish I'll have the gut to say:

"Please don't bother me anymore."

In fact I am now typing this because she is occupying my place for sleep. I can't sleep......

I will try not to let this happen again....

I should be selfish and mean to certain strange individuals who won't ever be at all grateful even when I sacrafice.


Perhaps that's also due to my bad temper these days, I am really fed up with people whom I don't appreciate to get even closer to me. I think I begin to hate physical interaction.....it is better to keep a short distance away. That is in fact even good for certain relationships.

I remember --
2001, Form 5 Sci classroom, Ms Andrea wrote:
"Distance makes two hearts get closer."