I was preparing to do my chemistry lab report, and then I was scared by the fact that I couldn't find my IRs. I'll have to attach those IR graphs with my report and to be honest the report is due tomorrow. Then I started recalling, and got into pieces because I remembered taking them out this morning inside the library and I forgot what happened next.

Oh well, perhaps I can go online for a while and then think of the solution. I saw a friend whom I've never met (but we are friends!) and we chat...till my second sense of horror came up because she reminded me of something. I immediately went to a website and saw something I shouldn't see for now...oh well...

OKOK.

Then she offlined and I sat there, blank.

I told myself that I'll have to find those IR graphs. I don't believe in fate and I don't think I did left them inside the library. And so I did start a magnificent and glorious search in which I found them, holding them crying out in joy. These mischevious graphs was hidden at the bottom of my backpack, cramped. But still they are there and that's all I want. It's not a problem to be crumpled, since no one cares about that. Gray doesn't care about that at least and that's fine for me.

But my second concern...I still feel hollow when I think of it now. One of my greatest fear....how should I describe that? I know I couldn't say it out loud. It is not appropriate. Or, maybe it is about nothing...YEAH..that's nothing at all. Nothing happened. Nothing will happen and nothing is happening. Everything is an illusion...right? Is that the message I should realize?

Please.

Please don't give me up. Alright? That is a solution, but that wasn't the best solution perhaps. We still have time to wait for a better answer to come up. Right?

Perhaps the answer to our fears acts as my IR graphs...hidding somewhere....playing with my concerns and fears...but they can't hide forever.....just as we can't hide forever.....

I really really hate panic cries. Since young I never want to see myself sobbing like a coward, and so I really didn't do that often. I will do anything to avoid this from happening to me in the future and this is just a small commitment to myself. I'll have to succeed small things before getting my step into bigger things...

But sometimes, capable people can't help small things too..

Nothing is in control for me now...

On the other hand...

What else can I fear?