Tonight we went to Forerunner Christian Church. For some misunderstanding, we went back and forth different gatherings. But because of that, we meet more new people, and experience different things. Lastly, we went to a mandarin college students gathering where we have to share our feelings for the winter conference of the Forerunner ministry. At first I am not ready, I was praying for God's presence and its offering of courage on me. When i am ready, the sharing ended and I do not have a chance. Now I understand God is teaching me: time is running out, hesitating will not allow you to make your decision on time. I need to always pray and feel with God's love first before I can do God's work.

Andrew on the way driving me home tells a lot of stuff. To be a prophetic has to learn a lot of stuffs. and many things also. I know I am not ready for it. But I would love to when the time comes. Right now I have to get away sin totally in order to do God's work. It is not easy because I will feel difficult feelings when doing them.

When coming back, my mom said negative things to me and she is no interest on Christian. She said pastor talk to her today, she believes Pastor has a purpose, and is something she dislikes. I feel very sad because I know God love her and I too even though she does not follow Jesus Christ. I need to learn how to control my emotion and handle me and my mother's broken relationship first. I have to work hard to get her to believe in Jesus.

Dear Lord.
Please forgive my wrongdoings these days.
Please guide me how to love you, embrace you, learn from you.
Please build up our church.
Please let my family to believe in you

I am greedy. I want many works and things from you. Am I being too selfish? or this is the right way to completely dependent on you?
Please help me... Before my chances, my goals are running out of time.

Amen