2006-03-19 21:21:48捷思敏
還很模糊
下了飛機，心靈終於是平靜的，握著頸子上掛著的，新買銀質的墜子，機艙裏的冷空氣還絲絲地依附在上面，涼的硬的，卻給了我如許勇氣。
到台灣是一大清早，連海關都只開放一個櫃檯，檢查人員懶洋洋地，隨手就放過了一個個歸國的旅客，還不到七點，就是平常的日子裏這時也還窩在被窩裏不肯睜眼，難得早晨微涼的空氣，真是一個好開始。買好了回台北的車票，還有15分鐘才開車，我開了手機，查了留言，沒有什麼要緊的，只一通新公司確認我是否會準時ON BOARD的留言，拉我回現實的台北。
聽完留言，這才想起答應了林會給他一個電話。該打嗎？還是算了吧？都已經決定只可以是朋友的，盯著電話好一會兒，決定還是把它收起來。還沒來得及放進隨身的背包，手機已經迫不及帶地響了起來。我嚇了一跳，誰會在不到七點的清晨台北打電話給我？是愛操心的媽媽檢查我到台灣了嗎？這倒是很有可能，來電顯示是UNKNOWN，家裏的電話也有隱藏的功能。
接起了電話，林的聲音急切地在那一頭響起，我應該還是平靜的，可是，很難想像認識的林，會這麼的撒嬌，雖然用甜來形容男孩子的聲音很怪，可是心底泛起了一股蜜的感覺卻是不爭的事實。我的防備本來就稱不上堅實，現下碎冰春融，也不禁似水柔情起來。
林絮絮地低語，他知道我想保持朋友的界線，讓紐約的歸紐約，他也不奢望太多，不過，當我在萬呎的高空上時，他忍不住地寫了兩封信給我。原來我們有相同的感覺，總得想辦法把腦中的一堆凌亂化成文字，才能比較真切的面對真實的自己。「你那時還沒飛到台灣，我這樣應該不算犯規吧？」
笑開了，我在這頭鬧著問，現在這股甜得像扭不開的糖的聲音又是怎麼回事？他乾乾地笑了兩聲，「你總得讓我抒發一下，當我送你去機場，一個人回家的路上，對著那個曾存在你的形體的空氣，感受到的悵然和忌妒，已經很久沒有失落的感覺了，終於再聽到你的聲音，像撿回失去的寶，我很難忍得住。」
也不知怎麼可以聊得那麼久，林的聲音一路陪著我回到台北，終於到了家門，掛了電話，爸和媽都還在好眠中，我扔下了行李，等不及地打開了荒廢兩個星期的電腦，林的第一封信躍入眼簾。
Dear Ming,
As I recall, I don’t remember ever write anything to you. I have just arrived at home and you are already high in the air on the way back to Taiwan. Somehow your image gets stuck in my head. I am clear about our choice, but I would like to write some feelings down before they fade away or are forgotten.
Thank you for spending the wonderful moments with me. I like being with you! I miss your tender lips, your hug, your sparkling eyes, the naughty frown, and in particular, the perfect lip curve when you smile. Words cannot describe what is struggling in my mind now. Is it just a dream that is too good to be true? I am again overwhelmed by the lonely feelings after you are gone. All in all, I just want you to know .... I really liked you ....and I was really crazy about you. I will keep all these feelings and memory intact deep in my heart. I miss you.
Lin
心是竊喜的，我必須承認。可以不嗎？不過字裏行間寫得都是過去式，那麼林也終於決定過去的就過去了嗎？我回想著林剛剛熱切的聲音，很迷惘，不假思索的，我打開了林的第二封信。
Dear Ming,
Good morning, to you and to myself, because you will arrive in the morning and it’s only Monday morning here. Since you are still at a height of 75000 ft, I think I am still allowed to write something about my feeling, right ? :) It’s been a very long night for me. I did have a very good sleep, but yet, all I have dreamt about is us. What happens in the last 48 hours has been replaying in my head over and over again, even now. Everything was happening so unexpectedly. The feelings only grow stronger, and I still have not figure out how to put them off. I really miss you, everything about you.
Lin
上帝啊，我熾熱的額頭貼著還涼涼的銀幕，我不知道要怎麼作，如果開始了這樣的一段，勢必很難有個美麗的尾巴，但在理智足以阻擋我之前，我已經按下回覆，而且迅速地在自己會後悔前送出了所打的字句，一點點都不記得自己到底回了什麼，只記得，自這封信後，我的收信匣再也沒有一天是空過，而我的手機也從沒有忘了在每日清晨與午夜為我送來林足以讓我汗毛豎立，帶有電流的聲音。
到台灣是一大清早，連海關都只開放一個櫃檯，檢查人員懶洋洋地，隨手就放過了一個個歸國的旅客，還不到七點，就是平常的日子裏這時也還窩在被窩裏不肯睜眼，難得早晨微涼的空氣，真是一個好開始。買好了回台北的車票，還有15分鐘才開車，我開了手機，查了留言，沒有什麼要緊的，只一通新公司確認我是否會準時ON BOARD的留言，拉我回現實的台北。
聽完留言，這才想起答應了林會給他一個電話。該打嗎？還是算了吧？都已經決定只可以是朋友的，盯著電話好一會兒，決定還是把它收起來。還沒來得及放進隨身的背包，手機已經迫不及帶地響了起來。我嚇了一跳，誰會在不到七點的清晨台北打電話給我？是愛操心的媽媽檢查我到台灣了嗎？這倒是很有可能，來電顯示是UNKNOWN，家裏的電話也有隱藏的功能。
接起了電話，林的聲音急切地在那一頭響起，我應該還是平靜的，可是，很難想像認識的林，會這麼的撒嬌，雖然用甜來形容男孩子的聲音很怪，可是心底泛起了一股蜜的感覺卻是不爭的事實。我的防備本來就稱不上堅實，現下碎冰春融，也不禁似水柔情起來。
林絮絮地低語，他知道我想保持朋友的界線，讓紐約的歸紐約，他也不奢望太多，不過，當我在萬呎的高空上時，他忍不住地寫了兩封信給我。原來我們有相同的感覺，總得想辦法把腦中的一堆凌亂化成文字，才能比較真切的面對真實的自己。「你那時還沒飛到台灣，我這樣應該不算犯規吧？」
笑開了，我在這頭鬧著問，現在這股甜得像扭不開的糖的聲音又是怎麼回事？他乾乾地笑了兩聲，「你總得讓我抒發一下，當我送你去機場，一個人回家的路上，對著那個曾存在你的形體的空氣，感受到的悵然和忌妒，已經很久沒有失落的感覺了，終於再聽到你的聲音，像撿回失去的寶，我很難忍得住。」
也不知怎麼可以聊得那麼久，林的聲音一路陪著我回到台北，終於到了家門，掛了電話，爸和媽都還在好眠中，我扔下了行李，等不及地打開了荒廢兩個星期的電腦，林的第一封信躍入眼簾。
Dear Ming,
As I recall, I don’t remember ever write anything to you. I have just arrived at home and you are already high in the air on the way back to Taiwan. Somehow your image gets stuck in my head. I am clear about our choice, but I would like to write some feelings down before they fade away or are forgotten.
Thank you for spending the wonderful moments with me. I like being with you! I miss your tender lips, your hug, your sparkling eyes, the naughty frown, and in particular, the perfect lip curve when you smile. Words cannot describe what is struggling in my mind now. Is it just a dream that is too good to be true? I am again overwhelmed by the lonely feelings after you are gone. All in all, I just want you to know .... I really liked you ....and I was really crazy about you. I will keep all these feelings and memory intact deep in my heart. I miss you.
Lin
心是竊喜的，我必須承認。可以不嗎？不過字裏行間寫得都是過去式，那麼林也終於決定過去的就過去了嗎？我回想著林剛剛熱切的聲音，很迷惘，不假思索的，我打開了林的第二封信。
Dear Ming,
Good morning, to you and to myself, because you will arrive in the morning and it’s only Monday morning here. Since you are still at a height of 75000 ft, I think I am still allowed to write something about my feeling, right ? :) It’s been a very long night for me. I did have a very good sleep, but yet, all I have dreamt about is us. What happens in the last 48 hours has been replaying in my head over and over again, even now. Everything was happening so unexpectedly. The feelings only grow stronger, and I still have not figure out how to put them off. I really miss you, everything about you.
Lin
上帝啊，我熾熱的額頭貼著還涼涼的銀幕，我不知道要怎麼作，如果開始了這樣的一段，勢必很難有個美麗的尾巴，但在理智足以阻擋我之前，我已經按下回覆，而且迅速地在自己會後悔前送出了所打的字句，一點點都不記得自己到底回了什麼，只記得，自這封信後，我的收信匣再也沒有一天是空過，而我的手機也從沒有忘了在每日清晨與午夜為我送來林足以讓我汗毛豎立，帶有電流的聲音。