2005-05-26 13:54:10林源三
閃燈小鴨子
昨天我在公司附近的一家商店發現了另一隻會閃燈的塑膠小鴨子，鮮黃的身軀和碰碰便發出的紅紅綠綠的閃燈，令我著迷極了。每隻閃燈小鴨子盛惠二十一大元。不過，我還是沒有買下這小鴨子，不是因為價錢，而是因為剩下兩隻的燈都不突出，亮度不夠，不夠活力似的。
其實我的要求就是這麼簡單，
我不喜歡太熱鬧的生活~
我不喜歡虛假待人~
我不喜歡像羊群一樣到處拉攏別人~
我哭笑都出於心底，不喜歡賣笑~
我從來都以真心待人，那怕換回來的是如何強差人意
面對想法處事的層次和自己不同的人，我總是盡量配合，不會肆意批評或盲目讚賞附和
縱使好朋友得三數個，我不認為我是個難相處的人
友情是相對、雙向的
不過，不是每一種人與人之間的感情都可以是雙向的
有些關係，你會覺得︰再付出再強顏歡笑勉強迎合是戇七鳩的
Bert is Evil
Interview of Rubber Duckie, stolen from the FBI Investigations of "Bert and Ernie".
~ http://duohdofu.tripod.com/duckie.htm
* Indicates the person writing down what Rubber Duckie was doing.
Interviewer (name concealed) : * Rubber Duckie comes in and waddles to his seat.
Interviewer: Hello Mr. Duckie, I am here to ask you questions about "Bert and Ernie".
Interviewer: *Mr Duckie squeaks rapdily
Rubber Duckie : Lets get this over with, I have personal matters to take care of.
Interviewer: Ok, Mr Duckie , first off. How long have you known Bert and Ernie?
Rubber Duckie : Well, as long as Ernie first took me into the tub..
Interviewer: Did Ernie ever say why he took you into the tub?
Rubber Duckie : Well he told me he needed a companion to have fun with.
Interviewer: And how did you feel about that?
Rubber Duckie : Oh, well I was fine with it until Bert and him started to Change.
Interviewer: Change?
Rubber Duckie : Well, it all started with a bottle cap collection. I heard that Bert beat Grover close to his death. Most of the things that happend to Bert I heard from everyone else. But some things I saw first-hand when I was with Ernie.
Interviewer: Like what?
Interviewer: *Mr Duckie looks around nervously
Rubber Duckie : Well. Sometimes he would come home high and make Ernie do things.
One time I remembr he came home with the needle still in his arm, he smacked Ernie around and said Ernie was his *****. He made Ernie go to the Pigeon Shed, Ernie came back with Mayonase all over his face and he was crying. Bert told him if he ever acted up like that again, that this would be his punishment.
Interviewer: Was that all that happened?
Rubber Duckie : Oh, no there are alot of other times Bert went crazy. Another time was a time when Bert overdosed. Ernie packed up all of his clothes and came and got me out of the bathroom. He was sneaking towards the door and Bert woke up. He started to scream and curse at us.
Bert picked me up and threw me into the bathroom, and I remember seeing Ernie get tackled and Bert was strangeling him. Thats when.. well.. Ernie doesnt like talking about it, but Bert had these biker guys who would come over and pay Bert to have their way with Ernie. That was when Bert started to Change Ernie.
Interviewer: *Mr Duckie looks around slowly
Interviewer: Do you need a few moments to collect yourself?
Rubber Duckie : No... I've been through too much, I have no emotions anymore. I'm the strong one. Before Ernie changed, he would cry if Bert looked at him. Bert really messed up his head. I mean Bert is crazy, he has half of the cast on drugs, and the other half fears him. He is a madman.
Interviewer: Ok, earlier you said Ernie changed, how?
Rubber Duckie : Well, Bert would take him out to Strip Clubs, get him high and drunk. Then Ernie would come home all relaxed, and get in the tub with me He would rub me all over his body and get excited.
Interviewer: Oh my god, I'm sorry.
Rubber Duckie : Thanks, but that was'nt the whole thing that happend. A few times they came home they would have contests to see who could jump on me the hardest. I didnt blame Ernie for it, I blamed Bert. He was the root of the problem. Thats when I noticed the rest of the cast was starting to act funny...
Interviewer: Funny?
Rubber Duckie : Well. Elmo started to skip words in his sentence. I mean, it was weird, Big Bird always had a pipe in his hand , Cookie Monster was eating the cookies by Industrial Bags. Kermit was always with Big Bird and his pipe. Well.. Oscar was'nt a Grouch , he was all calm and his eyes were red. But when they got back on camera , they acted the same. But you should see them off the set. Whoever wasnt doing drugs was getting violently beaten by Bert and Ernie. And whoever was doing drugs was paying Bert and Ernie for more. And Miss Piggy , she started to dress like a whore. Cars were constantly stopping next to her to pick her up. When she came back she would hand all of her money to Bert.
Interviewer: Wow.. *Man walks into the room and tells Duckie he has a phone call
Interviewer: Ok , I'll wait.
Interviewer: *Duckie comes back minutes later
Rubber Duckie : I am sorry but that was Bert. He was yelling at me asking where I was. I had to say I was with Ernie , I know I am going to pay for this later. But you will get another interview from me , I promise.
Interviewer: *Duckie waddles away.
其實我的要求就是這麼簡單，
我不喜歡太熱鬧的生活~
我不喜歡虛假待人~
我不喜歡像羊群一樣到處拉攏別人~
我哭笑都出於心底，不喜歡賣笑~
我從來都以真心待人，那怕換回來的是如何強差人意
面對想法處事的層次和自己不同的人，我總是盡量配合，不會肆意批評或盲目讚賞附和
縱使好朋友得三數個，我不認為我是個難相處的人
友情是相對、雙向的
不過，不是每一種人與人之間的感情都可以是雙向的
有些關係，你會覺得︰再付出再強顏歡笑勉強迎合是戇七鳩的
Bert is Evil
Interview of Rubber Duckie, stolen from the FBI Investigations of "Bert and Ernie".
~ http://duohdofu.tripod.com/duckie.htm
* Indicates the person writing down what Rubber Duckie was doing.
Interviewer (name concealed) : * Rubber Duckie comes in and waddles to his seat.
Interviewer: Hello Mr. Duckie, I am here to ask you questions about "Bert and Ernie".
Interviewer: *Mr Duckie squeaks rapdily
Rubber Duckie : Lets get this over with, I have personal matters to take care of.
Interviewer: Ok, Mr Duckie , first off. How long have you known Bert and Ernie?
Rubber Duckie : Well, as long as Ernie first took me into the tub..
Interviewer: Did Ernie ever say why he took you into the tub?
Rubber Duckie : Well he told me he needed a companion to have fun with.
Interviewer: And how did you feel about that?
Rubber Duckie : Oh, well I was fine with it until Bert and him started to Change.
Interviewer: Change?
Rubber Duckie : Well, it all started with a bottle cap collection. I heard that Bert beat Grover close to his death. Most of the things that happend to Bert I heard from everyone else. But some things I saw first-hand when I was with Ernie.
Interviewer: Like what?
Interviewer: *Mr Duckie looks around nervously
Rubber Duckie : Well. Sometimes he would come home high and make Ernie do things.
One time I remembr he came home with the needle still in his arm, he smacked Ernie around and said Ernie was his *****. He made Ernie go to the Pigeon Shed, Ernie came back with Mayonase all over his face and he was crying. Bert told him if he ever acted up like that again, that this would be his punishment.
Interviewer: Was that all that happened?
Rubber Duckie : Oh, no there are alot of other times Bert went crazy. Another time was a time when Bert overdosed. Ernie packed up all of his clothes and came and got me out of the bathroom. He was sneaking towards the door and Bert woke up. He started to scream and curse at us.
Bert picked me up and threw me into the bathroom, and I remember seeing Ernie get tackled and Bert was strangeling him. Thats when.. well.. Ernie doesnt like talking about it, but Bert had these biker guys who would come over and pay Bert to have their way with Ernie. That was when Bert started to Change Ernie.
Interviewer: *Mr Duckie looks around slowly
Interviewer: Do you need a few moments to collect yourself?
Rubber Duckie : No... I've been through too much, I have no emotions anymore. I'm the strong one. Before Ernie changed, he would cry if Bert looked at him. Bert really messed up his head. I mean Bert is crazy, he has half of the cast on drugs, and the other half fears him. He is a madman.
Interviewer: Ok, earlier you said Ernie changed, how?
Rubber Duckie : Well, Bert would take him out to Strip Clubs, get him high and drunk. Then Ernie would come home all relaxed, and get in the tub with me He would rub me all over his body and get excited.
Interviewer: Oh my god, I'm sorry.
Rubber Duckie : Thanks, but that was'nt the whole thing that happend. A few times they came home they would have contests to see who could jump on me the hardest. I didnt blame Ernie for it, I blamed Bert. He was the root of the problem. Thats when I noticed the rest of the cast was starting to act funny...
Interviewer: Funny?
Rubber Duckie : Well. Elmo started to skip words in his sentence. I mean, it was weird, Big Bird always had a pipe in his hand , Cookie Monster was eating the cookies by Industrial Bags. Kermit was always with Big Bird and his pipe. Well.. Oscar was'nt a Grouch , he was all calm and his eyes were red. But when they got back on camera , they acted the same. But you should see them off the set. Whoever wasnt doing drugs was getting violently beaten by Bert and Ernie. And whoever was doing drugs was paying Bert and Ernie for more. And Miss Piggy , she started to dress like a whore. Cars were constantly stopping next to her to pick her up. When she came back she would hand all of her money to Bert.
Interviewer: Wow.. *Man walks into the room and tells Duckie he has a phone call
Interviewer: Ok , I'll wait.
Interviewer: *Duckie comes back minutes later
Rubber Duckie : I am sorry but that was Bert. He was yelling at me asking where I was. I had to say I was with Ernie , I know I am going to pay for this later. But you will get another interview from me , I promise.
Interviewer: *Duckie waddles away.