2004-06-29 15:04:03尚未設定

Speak to us of Children

有沒有想過,有哪一種角色是會讓人感覺有負擔的呢?

告別了年輕裝酷的時光,人生很多事情就變的嚴肅了起來。特別是懷孕了之後,書上說,女性往往會因著懷孕的緣故,開始思考人生中較嚴肅的課題。

有時生活閒下來的時候,我開始會揣想腹中的生命,他是不是真的存在呢?

看著如今還是相當平坦的肚子,絲毫沒有要在下一個月急速長大的症狀,但唯一可證明我的確在懷孕的階段,大概就是那種持續像在船上暈眩的感覺吧!

一直覺得胸口有股氣吐不出來,胃裡好像永遠也不會餓,有時症狀稍微減緩一點,我都會開玩笑的跟老公說,看來我現在下船了,回到陸地了。

但是仔細想想,再過半年,在一切順利的狀況下,我就真的要成為一個母親了,這實在讓我感到負擔。

而這個角色,似乎不是像一份工作一樣,辭職了、換公司了,就告終。
而是不斷不斷的延續,角色名稱一樣,態度卻又隨著小孩的成長而不斷調整。

我開始想,自從我有意識作為一個女兒的角色後,我是否有感到負擔呢?
我似乎從沒有因為女兒的角色是要伴隨著我一生,而心中感到負擔,也許是年紀小不懂,或是女兒總是予取予求吧。

但是當女兒成為母親時,當初我從父母那得到多少,現在的壓力就有多少。

真是矛盾而有趣的感受。

我未來的孩子呀!希望某日你看到這些的時候,也是你稍微懂事的時候,你真能瞭解一個作母親的軟弱,也能體貼的看待自己的軟弱。

那天上網看到一個女孩引用詩人紀伯倫的的詩,

【The Prophet】-- Kahlil Gibran 1883 ~ 1931
【先知】 紀伯倫 著 Speak to us of Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams,
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

但願我始終能將孩子當作我生命中的伴侶,而不是財產或是生命的延伸。
從他們身上,我能學到人生中另一面的課程。