have you ever been to a wedding, being a bridesmaid, maid of honor, usher, or best man, and seeing the wonderful couple getting married and was so happy for them, but still wonder why?

the wedding was certainly fun; everything went well. the bride was so beautiful that she looked just like an angel from heaven. being a bridesmaid, holding the long wedding gown, standing there and listening to their vows of becoming a couple and be faithful to their partner till death do them apart... i still wonder why... do ppl get married...?

never really being in love is probably one of the reasons that i’ll never understand... i’ve heard, marriage is the grave for love. all the love a couple had before the wedding day would just end at that moment.... the moment they got married...

i knew that statement is not completely true, but for most couple... i guess it’s true... esp. for my parents.

but... on the wedding day... when i sat back and look at the dance floor... so many couples proved that statement to be wrong... many of the couple married not long ago, and many of them married long time ago...

still... i wonder why ppl get married if they are not gonna treat each other with respect and love...

marriage is something i’ll never dare to touch... being under the influence of my parents ever since i was a kid, i don’t know if i’ll be able to maintain a marriage... not that i won’t be faithful... but i wouldn’t know how to react to certain things... and arguments are definitely not the solution to everything even tho it’s a way of communicating with each other...

when i say i won’t get married... no one believed in me... all the adults told me to not say it so early because i’ll never know... yes i’ll never know if there’s anyone who can convince me to marry him... so far... none... it happens to be my fate to see all those terrible marriages and so i want to stay out of marriage... it gets even worse if the couple can’t get divorced...

wedding symbolize two lives becoming one... what if whom you marrying is not exactly your soul mate? the two ppl are bound together even before they were born... it’s their fate to get married...

in my ”fate book”, there’s probably no such thing as soul mate... and being who i am... it’s probably hard to find someone for me... as usual... and that’s probably why i still wonder why people get married...

i wish that all the couples be truthful and respectful to their partners... your lives are bound together... you are meant to be together... even if you don’t get alone very well... it’s fate... the fate that’s set for you before you were even born... god put it there for some reason... for you to learn how to love someone and managing the bond that the law made for you...

even tho i wonder... but i’m still happy for the new couple... best wishes to them even tho they’ll probably never have a chance to read this...



-june 2003