2004-11-03 14:12:47無名氏
翻譯:橘子紅了--求夢(二)
「法師怎麼講?」
「法師有他的講法,我不要講了。」
「你講嘛,我最最喜歡聽解夢了。」
「他說,門上有枚釘子是好兆頭,他說-」她吞吞吐吐又不想說了。
「快講呀。」
「他說,家門裏要添丁了。」他很不好意思地轉開臉。
「那就是說,你要生孩子了。」
「沒有啦,他只是這樣講就是了,只是一個夢嘛!」
她那一臉的憂愁,使我懂得了,她擔心的就是不會生孩子。她到我們家來,就是要給大伯生孩子,不生孩子,大伯不會再要她,大媽也會不喜歡她了。我心中萌起對她無限的同情。我與她只差兩歲,但我們的處境完全不一樣,我可以無憂無慮地讀書、玩樂,在大媽跟前撒嬌。但她得天天像個大人,一個千依百順身婦人,命運都繫在生不生孩子上面。然而她要的是愛,她已經在愛大伯了,但大伯會愛她嗎?大伯連對大媽也沒有愛,也許只對那個交際花姨太有愛吧!他對小太太真的像採橘子似的,揀個紅的嘗嘗,也許只嘗一口就把它丟掉,讓它爛掉。想到這裏,我真是好氣大伯,也不免怪大媽。如果她不把秀芬討進來,她可能會遇到一個心愛的如意郎君,好好成家,一夫一妻,生兒育女,多麼好呢?但現在說這些都沒用,徒然使秀芬傷心。
我看她口袋裏鼓鼓的,有一樣東西,問她是佛殿裏帶回的水果糕餅嗎?她笑笑說不是的,就快步跑回廂房,取出口袋的一個紅布小包,把它塞在枕頭下,我好奇地問:「是什麼呀?那麼神秘。」
「晚上再給你看。」
我等不及晚上,趁秀芬在廚房幫大媽做飯時,悄悄到屋裏,從枕頭下摸出那個紅布包,打開一看,原來是一舍粗瓷的赤膊小娃娃。胸前繫著一個紅肚兜,娃娃連眼睛鼻子都看不清,頭頂一根沖天小辮子,胖嘟嘟是個男娃兒。我趕緊包好塞回枕頭下,走出來看看秀芬,心裏只想笑,又不敢笑。我在想像著:這樣一個小女人,如果也像我那些嬸娘似地,懷了孕,挫起個大肚子,會像甚麼樣子?若是生了孩子,抱著背著,又會像甚麼樣子?那時,她的孩子就是我的小弟弟,她才真正成了我的長輩阿姨了呢。
晚上我們回房睡覺時,我說:
「我已經看見你枕頭下的娃娃了。」
「你真性急,我會給你看的呀。這娃娃是大媽求的,她在送子觀音面前,帶著我點香跪拜後,從觀音手中抱來的。大媽好細心啊!」
The Translation:
“So what did the fortune-teller say?”
“He had an explanation. I don’t want to say.”
“Tell me please. I want to listen to it.”
“He said, having a nail on the door was a propitious sign, he said- ”she paused, refusing to go on.
“Come on.”
“He said, a new baby would be born in our family.” She turned her head timidly.
“That means, you will have a baby.”
“No, that’s only what he said. After all, it’s a dream!”
Her sorrowful look told me that she was worried about sterility. She came to our family to bear a child for my uncle; if she failed, my uncle would dump her and my aunt would no longer like her either. I started to feel sympathy for her. She was merely two years elder than me, but our situations were completely different: I could study and play freely, and behaved like a spoiled child in front of my aunt, but she had to act like an adult every day, an obedient wife whose destiny was tied with the matter of giving birth. Yet what she needed was love, she had fallen in love with my uncle; however, did my uncle love her in return? He even did not love my aunt, he only loved that bitch, maybe! The way he treated his concubines seemed like picking tangerines- choose a ripe one to taste, threw it away after a bite and let it rot. When I thought of this, I really feel angry about my uncle, and unavoidably blamed my aunt as well. If Xiufen did not come to our family, she might meet her true love, get married and have children. How awesome would this be? It was, nonetheless, useless to say all these now. They would only make Xiufen sad.
I saw her pocket bulged with something, so I asked, “are those fruit or biscuits brought from the temple?” She denied it with a smile, then rushed back to her room, took out a little red bag from her pocket, and put it under her pillow. I was curious, “What’s that? So mysterious?”
“I’ll let you look at it tonight.”
I could not wait any longer, thus I sneaked into Xiufen’s room when she was helping my aunt for dinner in the kitchen, fumbled the red bag from her pillow and opened it. It was a tiny barebacked china doll, wearing a red undergarment; its appearance was unclear, but you could tell that it was a boy from the straightly tied-up hair in the front and the baby fat on its face. I packed and put the china doll back in haste, and went out to check on her. I wanted to laugh, but I dared not. I imagined: what would this small woman look like if she, like my other aunts, get pregnant and stand straight with her tripe? How would it be if she give birth and hold a baby in her arms? In that case, her child would be my little cousin, where she finally became my aunt.
At the time we went back to our room to sleep, I told her,
“I have already seen the doll under your pillow.”
“You’re so impatient, I said I will let you look at it. This doll was begged by your aunt from the child-promising god. She led me to worship, and we got this from the god. Your aunt is very thoughtful.”
「法師有他的講法,我不要講了。」
「你講嘛,我最最喜歡聽解夢了。」
「他說,門上有枚釘子是好兆頭,他說-」她吞吞吐吐又不想說了。
「快講呀。」
「他說,家門裏要添丁了。」他很不好意思地轉開臉。
「那就是說,你要生孩子了。」
「沒有啦,他只是這樣講就是了,只是一個夢嘛!」
她那一臉的憂愁,使我懂得了,她擔心的就是不會生孩子。她到我們家來,就是要給大伯生孩子,不生孩子,大伯不會再要她,大媽也會不喜歡她了。我心中萌起對她無限的同情。我與她只差兩歲,但我們的處境完全不一樣,我可以無憂無慮地讀書、玩樂,在大媽跟前撒嬌。但她得天天像個大人,一個千依百順身婦人,命運都繫在生不生孩子上面。然而她要的是愛,她已經在愛大伯了,但大伯會愛她嗎?大伯連對大媽也沒有愛,也許只對那個交際花姨太有愛吧!他對小太太真的像採橘子似的,揀個紅的嘗嘗,也許只嘗一口就把它丟掉,讓它爛掉。想到這裏,我真是好氣大伯,也不免怪大媽。如果她不把秀芬討進來,她可能會遇到一個心愛的如意郎君,好好成家,一夫一妻,生兒育女,多麼好呢?但現在說這些都沒用,徒然使秀芬傷心。
我看她口袋裏鼓鼓的,有一樣東西,問她是佛殿裏帶回的水果糕餅嗎?她笑笑說不是的,就快步跑回廂房,取出口袋的一個紅布小包,把它塞在枕頭下,我好奇地問:「是什麼呀?那麼神秘。」
「晚上再給你看。」
我等不及晚上,趁秀芬在廚房幫大媽做飯時,悄悄到屋裏,從枕頭下摸出那個紅布包,打開一看,原來是一舍粗瓷的赤膊小娃娃。胸前繫著一個紅肚兜,娃娃連眼睛鼻子都看不清,頭頂一根沖天小辮子,胖嘟嘟是個男娃兒。我趕緊包好塞回枕頭下,走出來看看秀芬,心裏只想笑,又不敢笑。我在想像著:這樣一個小女人,如果也像我那些嬸娘似地,懷了孕,挫起個大肚子,會像甚麼樣子?若是生了孩子,抱著背著,又會像甚麼樣子?那時,她的孩子就是我的小弟弟,她才真正成了我的長輩阿姨了呢。
晚上我們回房睡覺時,我說:
「我已經看見你枕頭下的娃娃了。」
「你真性急,我會給你看的呀。這娃娃是大媽求的,她在送子觀音面前,帶著我點香跪拜後,從觀音手中抱來的。大媽好細心啊!」
The Translation:
“So what did the fortune-teller say?”
“He had an explanation. I don’t want to say.”
“Tell me please. I want to listen to it.”
“He said, having a nail on the door was a propitious sign, he said- ”she paused, refusing to go on.
“Come on.”
“He said, a new baby would be born in our family.” She turned her head timidly.
“That means, you will have a baby.”
“No, that’s only what he said. After all, it’s a dream!”
Her sorrowful look told me that she was worried about sterility. She came to our family to bear a child for my uncle; if she failed, my uncle would dump her and my aunt would no longer like her either. I started to feel sympathy for her. She was merely two years elder than me, but our situations were completely different: I could study and play freely, and behaved like a spoiled child in front of my aunt, but she had to act like an adult every day, an obedient wife whose destiny was tied with the matter of giving birth. Yet what she needed was love, she had fallen in love with my uncle; however, did my uncle love her in return? He even did not love my aunt, he only loved that bitch, maybe! The way he treated his concubines seemed like picking tangerines- choose a ripe one to taste, threw it away after a bite and let it rot. When I thought of this, I really feel angry about my uncle, and unavoidably blamed my aunt as well. If Xiufen did not come to our family, she might meet her true love, get married and have children. How awesome would this be? It was, nonetheless, useless to say all these now. They would only make Xiufen sad.
I saw her pocket bulged with something, so I asked, “are those fruit or biscuits brought from the temple?” She denied it with a smile, then rushed back to her room, took out a little red bag from her pocket, and put it under her pillow. I was curious, “What’s that? So mysterious?”
“I’ll let you look at it tonight.”
I could not wait any longer, thus I sneaked into Xiufen’s room when she was helping my aunt for dinner in the kitchen, fumbled the red bag from her pillow and opened it. It was a tiny barebacked china doll, wearing a red undergarment; its appearance was unclear, but you could tell that it was a boy from the straightly tied-up hair in the front and the baby fat on its face. I packed and put the china doll back in haste, and went out to check on her. I wanted to laugh, but I dared not. I imagined: what would this small woman look like if she, like my other aunts, get pregnant and stand straight with her tripe? How would it be if she give birth and hold a baby in her arms? In that case, her child would be my little cousin, where she finally became my aunt.
At the time we went back to our room to sleep, I told her,
“I have already seen the doll under your pillow.”
“You’re so impatient, I said I will let you look at it. This doll was begged by your aunt from the child-promising god. She led me to worship, and we got this from the god. Your aunt is very thoughtful.”