2010-01-30 11:01:18Dominick
Desperation
After swallowed one tab Kivexa and 4 tab of Kaletra. I had some reaction few hours later. They made me stomach sick, low grade chill, and shaking, discomfort. I was not able to eat the dinner after that. The only thing I take is a sport drink. I thought I have a opportunistic infection. I could not lie down. That would make me throw up. I was lying on the couch and changing the position to make myself sleep. But still vomited 2 times afterward. Then I felt better to fall asleep. I even woke up at midnight because too hungry. I was searching the food. But I didn't eat anything beside from a bottle of juice. Because I was so afraid I may throw up again.
I had a clear but weird dream last night after the juice I drunk. In the dream, I was at a playground being looking for the toilet in one of building. Once I got into the restroom's door, I was trap. There was a stair in the restroom go down to different level. They looks lika a sauna to me. when I reached the first floor, I still could not find any toilet. So I got out of the door. Then came to my eyes is a restaurant. You won't believe who I met there, Sylvia Chang, who is a singer, actress, and director. She told me something. I cannot actually recall right now. Then I woke up right after that. I was thinking about what this dream is trying to tell me. I remember her very first album. It was a short album. Only 6 songs with her little speech in between. She mentioned one of her best friend asked her to buy the concert's ticket, who was torched by the HIV. And then I started to think how sorry I am to my parents, people I love, and who love me. I pray for the guidance from God. I never achieve or accomplish anything to contribute this word and mankind. And now the light of my life is fading.
This is my own decision that I am not going to tell. Because I don't want anyone worry and burden this with me. I am taking this to grave with me. But how long and far I can go with this secret. I don't know. My plan for the future is already crashed by this turbulence.
Yeah, it soes. But I still have loose bowel movement once a day at least. And swallowing 5 huge pills every morning make me choking sometime.