"Wake Me Up When September Ends"

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father’s come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
壓力不停息，我就無法自控地想要尖叫
焦慮、沒有信心、自我價值低落
腦子裡總有把利刃劃過皮膚，溢出一道鮮紅的血
「想要做一個很有學問的人來證明什麼嗎？」
「你不是單純唸書，是把它和尊嚴、過去被羞辱的經驗連結在一起了。」
「知道這個機制是怎麼樣環環相扣、互相引動，你才能解套。」
我好累。
唸書念的好累。真想放棄。
處理自己的情緒好累。
用力控制自己好累。
「優秀」讓人好累，我母親喜歡用的字眼，最刺眼的字眼。
我母親想要我跟洋娃娃一樣，很優雅、沒有情緒（但是要有笑容）、要聽話…
是她太偏執還是我彆扭？
嗯？母親？
我愛你又恨你。
我在診療室裡對著諮商師付出無條件的信任，訴說我的故事，最傷痛時我卻還是笑的；他都感覺到我的痛苦了，他說：我都從背脊這裡痛起來了，你還在笑，笑是什麼意思？
我無法控制自己的笑。洋娃娃的笑容。
認知、感覺、行為…
想要放下這一切。
做個沒有回憶的人，重新來過。