it's me again.
isn't it strange to see me so often?
well. maybe.

已經有好一段時間沒有寫日記了(我指有質感的那本)
主要原因是我懶
*有時真的不明白為何會有我這麼懶的人
還有...
就是...
要面對真實的自己 要坦白
有時真的很累
尤其是一些不愉快的事
要整理 再次經歷
的確是一個自虐的過程

所以
為了對自己好一點
就會允許自己的不坦白
允許自己去逃避
允許自己做一些在別人眼中是放肆的事
但是
在不知不覺間我卻在同時間不斷地要求別人對我坦白
甚至奢求別人會照自己的方式去做
哈
其實自己也是一個十分霸道而不自知的人

要求別人做一些連自己也辦不到的事
好像沒甚麼道理
想要改變一個人
是徒勞而愚蠢的
everyone is born to be unique
這是我的一個小魔怪的口頭禪
每當我要求他依我的方法去列式寫steps的時候
他就會這樣說
let me do it my way
i have my own way
that's what makes everyone unique

Oh man!
或許他是對的
或許每個人都應該學習怎樣欣賞與自己不同的事/人
有正極
有負極
才會互相吸引
everything has a reason
maybe that reason is weird and nonsense in my eyes
but maybe that's perfectly okay or reasonable in others' eyes
so.
that's it.
maybe there are things i would never accept
but it doesn't mean that i have the absolute power or right to change it
maybe i should make myself a more influencial person
maybe it's better to influence than to change
maybe
i dunno

coz i'm alredi an anti-change person
coz i hate receiving orders, not to mention following orders.

tonite is 7S re-u.
weird enough, i'm going to join.
maybe it's time for me to stop being invisible.
maybe i will have some fun tonite.

that's all.
have fun in the states.
講完.

p.s. the pic has nothing to do with what i've written. i choose it coz i wanna put it here. hk's got its own beauty...someway.
p.p.s. today mak tsui went back to lkkc with her sister so that i had a lil chat with ms cheung through her mobile. and we might be having lunch sometime next week. mak tsui said that it's a pity that you're not here. well. how generous she is.